Selfless, Brave, and True
by PaigeLee1981
Summary: Four/Tris. Tobias Eaton joined Dauntless, looking for an escape. But, things aren't always what they seem. He is going to leave and join the factionless, until she comes along. Divergent told from Four's POV. His side of things, might just surprise you.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is my first fan-fiction. I am using this site and others like it as a teaching project for a literary criticism course I am teaching. Basically, I am seeing if I can practice what I preach. I truly would like your feedback and comments, good or bad. I realize this topic is over done.** **Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, its characters, or related materials. All credits go to Veronica Roth. Some dialogue and scene usage are quoted from her published works, as there was no way to improve on perfection.**

Sweat flies from my knuckles as my fist strikes the bag. _Inhale. Exhale. Strike._ My blood flows white-hot in my veins and my heart races. Smack. I strike the bag again, my raw and bloody knuckles stinging with every punch. My flesh pounding against the bags smooth leather surface remind me of the sound of the belt tearing through the air. With every punch, every kick, I can feel its sting, razor sharp in my mind. I concentrate harder and my body becomes a blur of fists and feet. Knees and elbows colliding with the bag. I imagine it is him standing in front of me. I can hear his ever reserved voice taunting me. The memory sickens me, coursing through every inch of me until I am consumed by rage. I feel the need to drive all the cowardice and weakness from my body. I will not allow myself to be that weak, vulnerable child from Abnegation again.

I continue to rage against the bag, until the chain snaps and the bag goes crashing to the concrete floor of the training room. I stand over it, looking down at it in disgust. I imagine it is his broken body lying on the floor in front of me. I give the bag one final kick before leaving the room.

I look at the clock on the wall as I leave the training room. _Shit. Seven thirty already?_ They will be here soon enough and I still have to get the net ready, but if I hurry I should have enough time. I run from the training room towards the fear landscape room. I pass Zeke on his way to the cafeteria and he yells in my direction as I run by.

" Shit man, you ever give it a rest?" I ignore him and continue on my way. I wipe my face with my T-shirt to clear the sweat that is now stinging in my eyes. _

_The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? _ Words from my childhood in Abnegation. I can remember my mother repeating them over and over again before my father would get home at night. They play through my mind as I plunge the needle into my neck. Soon I feel the pain of the serum spread down my shoulder. I glance at the clock on the wall. Seven forty-five. Then the floor beneath my feet begins to rise.

I look down the 100 story building to the ground below and I feel like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs. My head begins to spin at what I know I have to do. Every time it is the same. I close my eyes and count my breaths. 1,2,3,4,5...I jump. Its never the jump that I fear. It is the falling.

My heart races. I can feel the pounding in my ears over my entire body. Suddenly, I feel my feet slam into the ground below. I try to stand up quickly, but it is too late. The walls begin to close around me. The ceiling of the box forcing me into a crouch. I claw at the walls, feeding into my panic. I can feel the walls suffocating me, like rubber bands strapped tightly around my chest. Sweat pours from my body. I draw myself into a tight ball in the attempt to make the shrinking box feel bigger. I hug my knees to my chest. Just when I know the box will crush me, I hear a voice inside my head. _This isn't real._

When I open my eyes, the box is gone. I stand able to breathe once more. I gulp cool air and my chest burns with relief. The rubber bands that were strapped so tightly around it begin to fall away. I turn around and know that I will see her. A young woman sits in a chair. Her hands are bound behind her, a single spotlight shines on her. Her head is hanging and blonde hair falls forward in a golden halo obscuring her face. I wait a moment and then I hear the voice.

"Shoot her." I peer into the darkness, searching for the voice, knowing I won't find it.

"Who is she?" I demand. "What are her crimes?"

"Shoot her."

I look at the young girl. "Show me your face." I demand.

The girl slumps lower in char, without looking at me she says, "You could save me...if you wanted to. Be selfless. Be brave." There is something familiar about her.

"Shoot her or I will shoot you."

I hear a gun cock behind me and know that I cannot save her. Every time the same. I pick up the gun from the table in front of me. _I am not selfless. I am not brave._ I aim at her head and fire. I close my eyes as soon as I pull the trigger. I can never look at her. I drop the gun letting my hand hang limp by my side.

I open my eyes. I am standing in my old room in the Abnegation section of the city. I look around for a moment and then hear his voice behind me. He is already taking off his belt when I turn around to face him. My father stands sneering down at me. All at once I am a child again. I immediately put my arms up to cover my face. As the belt slices through the air, I hear him say "This is for your own good, Tobias."

I feel the sting of the belt on my arms and back. Over and over it lashes me. I become smaller and weaker with every strike. I close my eyes, take five deep breaths. _This isn't real._ _

When i open my eyes again, I am standing in the middle of the fear landscape room. I am still slightly shaking and covered in sweat when I look at the clock again. _Eight ten._ Those last two took longer than expected.

I am heading to my apartment to shower when Zeke stops me. "Just a heads up Bro...Max and Eric are looking for you. I told them you were reliving your nightmares." I nod at him. "See you at the net, Bro. Hopefully nobody misses this year." He walks away grinning and making gagging faces, contorting his limbs to make it look as if he is a body on the pavement.

I reach my apartment to find Max and Eric waiting for me. I resolve myself to the conversation I know is about to ensue. "Max. Eric. Can I help you?" I try to act surprised they are here, but the truth is I have been avoiding them for days now. Our last conversation had ended rather pointedly. Eric scoffs and rolls his eyes, his many facial piercings glinting in the dim hallway security lights. Max clears his throat. "Four, we would like for you to ...uh...reconsider our previous offer."

"I told you last week and the week before that...I'm perfectly happy in my current position." It was an honest answer. There is something very satisfying with scaring the living hell out of initiates. There is a finality to my tone indicating that the subject is no longer open for discussion.

Eric sneers at me and pulls himself up off the wall he was leaning against. "I don't think you are truly considering your best interests or the interests of your faction here, Four. I would hate for one of your initiates to suffer because of your judgement." Eric's tone is menacing.

"What exactly are you implying Eric?" My voice is calm but my demeanor is starting to mimic his. Max intervenes before Eric has a chance to answer.

"Look Four. We all know relationships between the factions are strained right now. We could use someone on our leadership team with your diplomatic skills." I can tell Max's last words hit a nerve in Eric. I watch as Eric's eyes narrow and grow cold and threatening. Every inch of his body tightens and he looks like a tiger about to pounce on its prey. He knows he can't beat me however, and thinks better of it. I smile slightly at him. Coward.

"Think it over during initiation. We could really use you." Max nods his head at me and walks toward the Pit. Eric stalks away after him bumping into my shoulder hard as he passes. I enter my sparse apartment and collapse on to the bed. The words "Fear God Alone" stare back at me from the wall opposite my bed. Taking the position Max offered me would mean seeing my father, an Abnegation leader, again. But if I refuse again, I will be forced to tell Max and Eric why I keep turning them down, forcing me to admit my cowardice in front of them. Neither choice is one I am particularly fond of. _

I stand at the bottom of the net checking to make sure all the rigging is secure. Lauren and Zeke enter trailed by other Dauntless. The net is a good 10 feet above the floor, but it looks much higher cast in the light of the gaping hole above, the only light in the vast cavern we are standing in. I turn to face the now forming crowd. Max steps up, followed by Eric, and yells "Hey! Shut it!" Everyone falls quiet as he begins to speak.

"Soon we will welcome a new group of members to our ranks." Fists begin to pump wildly in the air and shouts and cheers ring out from the growing crowd. Max puts his hands up and the crowd becomes quiet once more. "As we all know, it will not be easy and a few will not make it. But, Dauntless is not something you can earn or be taught, like the knowledge of Erudite or the selflessness of Abnegation. Dauntless is something you are born with." His voice grows louder with the last few words and the crowd begins to cheer and pump their fists once more. With that, Max turns and heads for the roof. Eric not far behind him, as usual.

I return to my position beside the net. I stand with my arms crossed, feet shoulder width apart, trying to get into my intimidating instructor mode. I am lost in my thoughts of what Eric said earlier about the initiates. His threatening tone playing over and over in my head and I know that I will need to be extra careful not to piss him off this year.

"God Four. What are you trying to do make them all want to crawl back up?" Lauren says sarcastically. This breaks me from my thoughts and I realize she may be right. I don't need to go too harsh on them just yet. I can at least learn their names first.

Before I can make a comment back, I catch a familiar form in the sky above the net. I listen for the scream, but it never comes. The body slams into the net, a tangle of blonde hair and grey clothes. I see her put her hands up to her face and a small giggle escapes her mouth. Did she really just laugh about jumping off the roof of a 10 story building? I reach my hand out to help her down. She is still shaking and crawls across the net towards me a little too enthusiastically. I can see her blue-grey eyes have an almost manic look in them. She reaches the edge of the net and I have to catch her to keep her from falling on to the wooden floor below. She feels tiny and fragile in my arms, like a bird.

"Thank you." She says looking around the cavern.

"A Stiff, the first jumper? Unheard of." Lauren smirks at her. I can tell Lauren is actually impressed, but her appearance is a little intimidating if you aren't used to Dauntless women. The girl looks taken aback by her comment and I see the Abnegation begin to show in her.

"There's a reason she left Lauren." I turn my eyes back to the Abnegation girl, still gripping her arm where I caught her before she fell. "What's your name?"

"Um..." she stammers, unsure of herself after Lauren's comment. The spark, so bright a moment ago, gone.

I give her a slight smile and lean in close to her ear, so that only she can hear me. "Think about it. You don't get to pick again."

I see thoughts play out across her face and then that wild spark reignited in her eyes. "Tris." She says firmly.

"Tris." Lauren repeats, grinning. "Make the announcement, Four."

I look over my shoulder and shout, "First jumper - Tris!" The awaiting Dauntless begin to cheer. Just then I hear a scream from behind us as another jumper lands in the net. I let go of her arm and place my hand on her back leading her out of the way of the net.

"Welcome to Dauntless." Her wild eyes flash at me once more, before she is swept away into the welcoming crowd.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Thank you to all those who read the first chapter and for all the reviews. I hope you continue to read.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent. All characters and related material are property of Veronica Roth. **

When everyone is on solid ground I walk from my position at the foot of the net. I reach the front of the initiates and steel my gaze, hardening my face and features. I become Four, the fearless. I make sure my outside matches that of a true Dauntless so that no one will be brave enough to ask where I came from. Lauren walks up beside me, as we turn to face the initiates.

"You ready?" She asks. A sly smile tugging at her lips. I know she is secretly hoping one of them will pop off and I will have a reason to 'put on a show'. Maybe Uriah will and I will finally have a reason to punch him in his smart-ass mouth. "After you. " she gestures at the transfers gazing around the cavern in disbelief.

I hold up a hand and wave for the initiates to follow me. Lauren and I lead them down the tunnel towards the pit. We stop just outside and Lauren speaks up, "This is where we part ways. I trust you Dauntless born don't need a tour of this place, so follow me." She heads toward the Dauntless born dormitory with the initiates hot on her heels.

I harden my face once more and turn around. "My name is Four. Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks I'll be your instructor." A Candor girl speaks up. Before the words even come out of her mouth, I am annoyed. I hate smart-asses.

"Four. Like the number?" She looks pretty amused with her comment and a few of the other Candor snicker.

"Yes," I say, careful to keep my temper in check. "Is there a problem?"

"No."

"Good." I continue my explanation. "We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It—" She interrupts me again. I swear this girl has a death wish. I clinch my fists tightly and bite down hard in attempt to keep my temper in check.

Christina snickers. "The Pit? Clever name."

I walk up to Christina and lean my face close to hers. My eyes narrow, and for a second I just stare at her. "What's your name?" I ask quietly. But in a much more threatening tone than with the Abnegation girl at the net.

"Christina," she squeaks.

"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-asses, I would have joined their faction," I hiss. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

She nods.

I start toward the shadow at the end of the tunnel. The crowd of initiates moves on in silence. People are everywhere, all dressed in black, all shouting and talking, expressively gesturing. A group of children run down a narrow path with no railing, so fast my heart pounds, and I want to scream at them to slow down before they get hurt. A memory of the orderly Abnegation streets appears in my mind: a line of people on the right passing a line of people on the left, small smiles and inclined heads and silence. Some of the initiates gasp bringing me out of my daydream. I shudder slightly at the memory of my old life. I came here to escape all that. I look around the Pit once more. There is something wonderful about Dauntless chaos.

"If you follow me," I say in my best unimpressed voice, "I'll show you the chasm." I wave the initiates forward.

We head off towards the Chasm. I can feel her eyes studying me from behind. They have an intensity to them I can't explain. Logical, analytical, yet wild and explosive at the same time. I caught them just briefly after I got in the Candor's face. I touch my hand to the back of my neck and realize it's probably just my tattoo she is looking at. She's probably never seen one before. My appearance seems tame from the front, by Dauntless standards, I can't imagine what she thinks about the other Dauntless.

I lead us to the right side of the Pit, which is conspicuously dark. I hear a roar—water, fast-moving water, crashing against rocks. I look over the side. The floor drops off at a sharp angle, and several stories below us is a river. Gushing water strikes the wall beneath me and sprays upward. To my left, the water is calmer, but to my right, it is white, battling with rock. I look to see some of the initiates have backed away. But not her. Her eyes dance wild like the river before her.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" I shout. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned." With that I turn and walk back towards the Pit.

We walk into the dinning hall and the Dauntless inside stand. They applaud. They stamp their feet. They shout. I look at the initiates faces wanting to see their reactions. I remember how overwhelming it was for me as a transfer. Some of them look embarrassed by all the attention. Others look confused. Some just look exhausted by today's events. Tris is the only one that seems to be absorbing it all. Taking it all in like she was awake for the first time. So small and fragile on the outside, yet there is something strong and fierce about her, like a bird taking flight.

I hear Zeke's voice behind me and I turn to go sit with him. "Dude I was saying your name for like five minutes. Where's your head at today? You nervous about the newbies or something?"

I am getting ready to tell him about my visit this morning, when I see the Candor girl walk up with the Abnegation girl right by her side. They sit down, with the Abnegation girl right beside me. Zeke gives them the once over and then gives me a thumbs up. He leaves for work in the control room shortly after introducing himself to Christina and Tris. He lingers a bit when shaking Christina's hand. Leave it to Zeke to like the loud-mouths.

In the center of the table is a platter of food. I look over and see Tris staring at it. I know she is unsure of what it is. I remember. How can I not? Zeke certainly hasn't let me forget. I nudge her with my elbow. I'm still not all that confortable with personal contact, unless, of course, it involves punching or kicking someone. She looks up, startled to see I was actually trying to get her attention.

"It's beef. Put this on it." I pass her the ketchup.

"You've never had a hamburger before?" asks Christina, her eyes wide.

"No," she says, still looking at it like it might be poisonous. . "Is that what it's called?"

"Stiffs eat plain food," I say, nodding at Christina.

"Why?" she asks.

Tris shrugs. "Extravagance is considered self-indulgent and unnecessary."

Christina smirks, "No wonder you left."

"Yeah," She says, rolling her eyes. "It was just because of the food."

The corner of my mouth twitches. I try to cover it up, but I know she caught me and she smiles a little, relaxing her breathing for the first time since I caught her from the net.

The doors to the cafeteria open, and a hush falls over the room. I look over my shoulder, but I already know who it is. Eric walks straight across the room, making a bee line for our table.

"Who's that?" whispers Christina.

"His name is Eric," I say. "He's a Dauntless leader."

"Seriously? But he's so young."

I give her a grave look. "Age doesn't matter here."

I can tell she's about to ask another question when he drops into the seat next to me. He offers no greeting, so neither do we.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me?" he asks, nodding to Christina and Tris.

"This is Tris and Christina."

"Ooh, a Stiff," says Eric, smirking at her. His smile pulls at the piercings in his lips, making the holes they occupy wider, and he looks even more like the evil maniac he truly is. "We'll see how long you last." He winks at me and his words from earlier play in my head again.

Tris stares at Eric like she is about to say something and I hope for her sake she changes her mind. Eric could, and would, break her in half in a heartbeat. She opens her mouth, but then loses her nerve. Eric continues to size her up. But then remembers why he sat down in the first place, to intimidate me, and moves on.

"So Four, have you thought about Max's offer anymore?" He glares at me with that same evil grin he had while sizing up Tris.

"No. I already told you, both last week and this morning, I'm satisfied in my current position. " I snap back at him. I want this conversation to be over. "I haven't been interested for two years."

"Well," says Eric. "Let's hope Max gets the point, then."

He claps me on the shoulder, a little too hard, and gets up. When he walks away, I slouch immediately. I had not realized that I was so tense.

"Are you two…friends?" Tris says, a little too freely for an Abnegation.

"We were in the same initiate class," I say, "He transferred from Erudite." I eye her suspiciously. Wondering where all this curiosity comes from, if she is truly from Abnegation.

"Were you a transfer too?" My face hardens. She has pushed too far. I feel my temper burst and I bite down hard on my cheek to keep from punching the wall beside me or yelling in her face.

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions," I say coldly. "Now I've got Stiffs, too?"

"It must be because you're so approachable," She say flatly. "You know. Like a bed of nails."

I stare at her. I can see that wild manic spark building inside them. It is mesmerizing. It is brave. She doesn't look away. Looking away is submissive. Looking me in the eye is a challenge. It's her choice. Suddenly, I can see the heat rush into her cheeks and they blush bright crimson. I can feel the heat boiling within myself too. But it is not the anger I felt earlier. This is different, like a hunger deep from within. What will happen when this tension breaks?

She tries to look away, but I grab her chin and turn her face towards mine. I lean in close and in a warning tone whisper, "Careful, Tris."

I stalk out of the dinning hall and go straight to the training room. I wrap my hands in tape, they are still swollen from this morning's session. I go over to the punching bag, but it still lays on the floor. I don't feel like hanging It right now. I make a mental note to arrive early, so I can hang it in the morning. Then I see the knives.

I walk over to the table with the throwing knives and pick one up, turning it over and over in my hand. As I do my thoughts turn to Eric's comments this morning. I hear his psychotic voice. _I would hate for one of your initiates to suffer because of your judgement._ Then I see the flash of a blade fly through the air. Almost instinctively, I had thrown the knife dead center. I throw one after another. Adjusting my aim. Hitting my target perfectly each time. I don't know how long Eric had been standing there when he clears his throat. I turn, knife in hand, ready to throw. He is lucky it didn't go through his skull.

"So just coming to check and make sure you have everything ready for tomorrow. It looks like we have a pretty good group considering where they transferred from. I don't know about that Stiff though. " I can tell Eric is trying to bait me. I turn and resume throwing knives at the wall. He continues "Maybe someone should _loosen_ her up a bit. To bad she still looks like a little girl." I turn and face him. I see an evil grin spread across his face, pulling his piercings into garish angles. He raises on eyebrow at me, noticing the reaction he garnered when he mentioned her. "Maybe it's time somebody makes a woman out of her. " He puts his hand to his pointed chin like he is imagining what it would be like.

I throw the knife without thinking, blind rage building behind my eyes. It is moments like these that Eric reminds me so much of my father. I think that maybe the only reason I won our fight during training. He said something in that same mocking tone my father used to use and I just snapped. When I came out of it Amar was pulling me off of him. Eric lie on the mat begging for mercy. I kicked him one last time, before Amar could tear me way, hating him for making me become my father.

Eric yells, "What the fuck Four? Watch where you are throwing those things. You could have killed me!" I notice there is blood running down his ear where the knife nicked him. _I was being careful or you would be dead right now._ With that Eric turns and leaves the training room.

I leave shortly after that. I lay down on my bed and the words stare back at me. _Fear God Alone._ I am soon sound asleep. But, my dreams are filled with images I can't make out. At one point I am standing in a field and I see a bird all alone on the ground. It looks hurt. Small and fragile. I feel like I need to protect it. I run towards the bird, but as soon as I reach out for it, it flies away strong and wild into the sky. The last thing I see is a pair of hazel eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thanks to all of you who are continuing to read. If you are new, thanks for checking it out. Please leave a review and follow or favorite to recieve updates. I try to update daily. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or any of the characters associated with it. Divergent and it's characters are property of Veronica Roth. Some situations and dialogue are borrowed directly from her text. **

Chapter 3

First I gather up all the knives and then I rehang the punching bag. Seven fifteen. I have time to get a few practice rounds in before the transfers arrive. I take a gun out of the locker and line my self up with the target. I square my shoulders and set my feet shoulder width apart. _Aim. Inhale. Exhale. Fire._ The bullet hits dead center, making a small hole in the paper targets heart. I fire several more rounds lost in my own thoughts. "Four. " a voice says behind me. I unexpectantly jump and the round goes sailing to the side missing my intended target by several inches.

"A little jumpy today, are we?" I hear a snicker in her voice. Then a curious look comes across Lauren's face. I close my eyes and sigh in annoyance before turning around. I must look annoyed, because Lauren's expression of amusement fades and is replaced by one of concern. I don't like the feeling her concern gives me. It reminds of the looks from the other Abnegation when my father would get sloppy and my bruises would show. He was always careful to concoct some story of how a factionless had been buligerant when we tried to help them. No one would question him. He was a council member after all. He would never lie.

"I don't need your concern. " I snap forcefully. "If I wanted to be babied I would have joined Amity. " Lauren looks a little hurt by my words. But she doesn't press the subject. I glance at the clock. Seven forty five. I walk past her to start setting up like our exchange never happened. I pull guns and ammo from the storage locker and she does the same, but I can feel her watching me with that same concerned look. I turn and in a second have her pinned against the wall, my hand around her throat. Pity is not something I tolerate.

"I am not your concern!" I shout, inches from her face. Shock and fear replace the concerned look in her eyes. "If you want someone to pity, then pity the transfers. They will be the only ones needing sympathy when today is finished." I spit the last words out of my mouth and shove her against the wall hard. She falls to the ground when I release her. I look of rage replaces the terror from moments ago and I know I have lost control and become him once more. She looks as if she is going to come at me. But just turns and leaves the training room. I hear her angered scream as she walks down the hall.

The transfers enter the room, looking nervous. I know that I cannot give into my Abnegation side and go easy on them for one second. Eric is waiting for me to slip up. He will either be here watching in person or watching from the monitors in the control room. Either way he will pounce on any opportunity I give him.

"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." I press a gun into each of their hands, a little more forcefully than necessary. I look straight ahead, avoiding eye contact so that I won't lose it on any of them. "Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that."

I walk over to the firing range, if you can call a half crumbling wall in a shell of a room a firing range. The transfers stare around the room some looking scared, which I expected. Others just look sleepy. Not what I want with loaded weapons in their hands. I decide to go over the ranking system to let them wake up before I demonstrate how to fire a gun. I turn and face them again.

"Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time."

I notice Tris staring at the gun in her hand like a snake about to bite her. I remeber the first time I held a gun, how alien it's metal exterior felt in my hand. I break my gaze from her, realizing I have paused a little too long, and continue.

"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear," I say. "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."

"But what…" A skinny looking Candor boy yawns through his words. "What does firing a gun have to do with…bravery?" The look on his face and the flippant, know it all tone in his voice reminds me of Eric.

I feel my anger burning in my chest once more and without thinking I flip the gun in my hand pressing the barrel to Peter's forehead. I click a bullet in place. Peter freezes with his lips parted, the yawn dead in his mouth.

"Wake. Up." I hiss. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it." He opens his mouth to speak, but changes his mind when I press the gun into his forehead. I drop the gun from his head and make a remark about not wetting your pants and crying for mommy if you know how to defend yourself. The initiates seem to breath again. They had all stopped the minute I pointed a loaded weapon at one of their heads.

"This will also be information you need if you are going to make it through stage one." I turn and face the target. Once again I line myself up and square my shoulders. _Aim. Inhale. Exhale. Fire._ I perfect bullet hole appears in the direct center of the targets forehead. The exact same location I had held a gun to Peters forehead seconds ago. I turn and face the transfers once more. I threateningly stare down Peter as I cooly ask "Any questions?"

I see Christina's mouth start to open, but Tris grabs her and gives her a warning look. Christina closes her mouth again. I can tell that her time observing the needs of others in Abnegation has paid off. They all stand there staring at me like they are waiting for me to say something else. "Well?" I say, gesturing with the still loaded gun in my hands towards the initiates and then to the targets. No one waits for a second invitation and they all begin firing at the targets.

Lunch comes sooner than expected and the transfers have made decent progress. Most of them have manage to hit the target these last couple of rounds. I see Tris message her wrist as we enter the dining hall. She wouldn't back down today. Maybe she is Dauntless after all. I catch myself looking at her and divert my eyes.

"Sup bro?" I turn and find Zeke staring at the group of intiates. "I don't know why you look so mad. I would give my right arm to get to hang out with those fine ladies all day." He nods his head in Christina and Tri's direction. "Not to mention I would have an excuse for beating my little brother half to death. "

I see Max nod in my direction and sit down before he can see that I noticed. Lauren sits across from me looking frustrated. "Dauntless borns not living up to expectations?" I say with s a smirk. She grunts at me and rolls her eyes. I only half listen to the rant that ensues. I catch myself looking over at the initiates again.

"Four...FOUR! Are you even listening to me?!" Lauren's voice snaps me out of my haze.

"What is going on with you lately? First, I find you shooting at a target this morning, like its trying to murder you and then you attack me like I am trying to help. Your a real ass sometimes... You know that?" She storms away before I can answer.

Zeke shudders. Then a sly smile creeps across his face. "She is kind of sexy when she's angry. " he winks at me and jumps up to follow her.

I laugh out loud. He will hit on anything with legs and a skirt. If only he knew, I really did throw her against the training room wall this morning. I look over at the initiates. She sits there lost in thought. Christina waving her hand in front of Tris's face trying to get her attention. I see one of the boys look at her with a gentle smile. Tris just looks away in disgust.

I see two to the transfers kissing and Tris says something to the others at the table. Her face looks like she is going to be sick. The others smile at her and make comments about her being too uptight. I hear someone sit down next to me. Max.

"Have you thought anymore about our conversation, Four?"

I look over at him. "I am considering it for now." I know this what he wants to hear and telling him what he wants to hear is the fastest way to get him to go away.

"Good." he says. He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it in approval. I have to bite down hard on my cheek to keep from ripping his hand from my body.

I meet the intiates at the entrance to the dinning hall after lunch. I lead them to the fighting arena. I step into the middle of the ring. It is not fancy. It consists of a faded mat on the floor with rings resembling a bullseye painted on the mat. There is a chalkboard on the wall behind me. All of the initiates' names are listed alphabetically on it.

"As I said this morning, next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges—which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless."

I lead them over to the punching bags hanging opposite the chalkboard. "We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other." I few of the transfers look alarmed by this news. They won't last long. "So I recommend that you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt." I intend this last part as a warning. I hope, for her sake, Tris is a fast learner. Hurting people won't come naturally for an Abnegation...at least most Abnegation. I seem to be a natural at it, a trait I must have inherited from my father. For some reason the image of the hurt bird enters my mind. I push it away. "I suggest you start practicing."

I walk around the transfers as they practice, pausing to correct form and offer advice on attack strategies. I have almost made it through the whole group when I see her. I stop in front of her. I can see her breathing quicken, I can tell she is nervous. I study her movements. Following her body, from head to toe, studying her technique.

"You don't have much muscle," I say, not taking my eyes off her. "Which means you're better off using your knees and elbows. You can put more power behind them."

I press my hand to her stomach. My fingers are so long that the heel of my hand touches one side of her rib cage, my fingertips touch the other side. I can feel her heart pounding in her chest. I don't know if it is from the physical exertion of the training or my hand. She stares at me, wide-eyed.

"Never forget to keep tension here," I say, in a quiet voice, pushing my hand firmly against her core. Her breath catches in her chest. I lift my hand from her and keep walking. I can still feel the pressure of her rib cage against my palm. I have to pause, for a moment to clear my head, before I can continue.

I dismiss the initiates for dinner. As I am leaving, I overhear Tris talking to Christina. "...he's definitely intimidating." I don't know why but her words stick in my mind. I don't like the fact she described me as intimidating. Usually, it is something I would find amusing. After all, I work very hard at appearing intimidating to the initiates. They would never survive Dauntless, otherwise. But for some reason, when she says it, I feel like I am doing something wrong, like I am picking on something small and weak, just because I am bigger and stronger. When she says it, I am reminded of my father.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: thanks for the continued support. I hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or any of its related contents or characters. Divergent and it's related material are the property of Veronica Roth. **

Chapter 4.

I emerge from the fear landscape room. The only reason I went in was to prove to myself I am not like him. Intimidating. She can't even fathom the meaning of the word. What would she know about intimidating? A quiet Abnegation girl, from a perfect Abnegation home. Intimidating. We will see what she thinks after today's fights.

I stand in front of the chalkboard. I have just finished pairing todays fights. I turn to face the initiates as they enter the room. When the last few trickle in, right at eight o'clock, I give them a threatening look. Everyone immediately falls silent. They can tell I am not in the mood to put up with any of their shit today.

"Since there are an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today," I say, stepping away from the board. I give her a look. She glances at the board and I see a look of relief wash over her face. I may be intimidating, but I am not cruel. It is a small reprieve, but seeing as how she is the smallest, there wasn't a way to give her a fair fight today.

I stand at the edge of the ring. I watch the fights, studying the technique of the initiates and making mental notes of their strengths and weaknesses. Al and Will are in the ring. They circle each other nervously, more tapping at each other than truly punching. I know they are waiting for me to call the fight off. I am just about to let them off the hook, when I hear the door to the training room open behind me. I turn to look, hoping to see Max or Lauren, but I already know who it is. Eric. My already bad mood worsens.

I hold my position. Arms folded, feet shoulder width apart. They glance at me again and I know what is coming. Eric checks his watch. After a few seconds of circling, Eric shouts, "Do you think this is a leisure activity? Should we break for nap-time? Fight each other!"

"But…" Al straightens, letting his hands down, and says, "Is it scored or something? When does the fight end?"

"It ends when one of you is unable to continue," says Eric.

I speak up at that point, knowing Al is no match for Eric. "According to Dauntless rules, one of you could also concede."

Eric narrows his eyes at me. He isn't going to let them off that easy. "According to the old rules," he says. "In the new rules, no one concedes."

"A brave man acknowledges the strength of others," I quote from the Dauntless manifesto.

"A brave man never surrenders." Eric shoots back.

Eric and I stare at each other for a few seconds. He and I both know who would win in a fight. I can feel the initiates watching us, scared of how this might end. In this moment, they are seeing two different kinds of Dauntless - the honorable kind, and the ruthless kind. They will need to know both sides if they are going to survive here. I continue to stare him down, but I know that in this room, it's Eric, the youngest leader of the Dauntless, who has the authority.

I look back at the two boys in the ring, indicating to Eric that he has won this round. "Well? What are you waiting for?" I snap at them. In a few hits the fight is over. Al hunches over Will's body tapping at his cheek, a look of shock and fear on his face. He is horrified at what he has just done. He is too kind to survive here for very long. I walk over and pull Will from the mat. I support him at the whist and lead him towards the infirmary. As I leave, I can't help but notice the worried look on Tris's face. At first I think she is concerned for Will, but she isn't looking at him. Her eyes are trained on Eric. She is nervous about being left alone with him. I feel it too. Leaving Eric alone with the initiates is a bad idea.

By the time I get Will settled in the infirmary, it is dinner time. I walk towards the dinning hall and see Tris and Al supporting a very wet and shaken looking Christina. She didn't strike me as a jumper, but you never know. I see Eric walk out from the Chasm looking especially pleased. The last couple of fights must have been bloody ones.

Lauren runs up to me looking shaken and out of breath. A feeling of nervous apprehension washes over me. It takes a lot to shake a Dauntless born like Lauren. "Who the FUCK does Eric think he is? Messing with the initiates that way. We could press charges against him!" Her face is contorted in absolute rage, making her eyebrow piercings quiver. "If he even thinks of pulling that shit with one of the Dauntless born...God knows what the rest of the faction would do to him. How the hell could you let him get away with that Four?"

I look at her in utter confusion. What the hell happened when I was gone? I stare at her with my eyes wide and my mouth open not knowing what to say. She looks back at me and the realization that I am clueless as to what she is talking about comes over her face. "You don't know? Where were you?" she asks , a distinctly accusatory tone in her voice.

I stare at her, temporarily speechless. "In...Infirmary with Will." I stammer, still confused by what has just happened. "Lauren,I swear. I really have no idea what you are talking about." Before she has a chance to answer Zeke runs up looking a little panicked.

"He didn't chuck Uri in too, did he? I mean, I know Uri can be a pain in the ass, but he is a good kid. I don't know how I would tell Mom if he was ever-"

I interrupt. "Would someone please tell me what the HELL you two are talking about?"

"Eric..." Zeke says out of breath. He must have run all the way from the control room. "He made one of the transfers climb over the rail into the chasm. I saw it from the control room. I didn't see what happened after that. I panicked and ran down here when I thought about Uri. Some of the others pulled her out, but dude, she nearly fell in."

I can't even speak, as the pieces come together in my mind. _Christina_. My whole body tenses with rage as I process what they have just told me. I turn and punch the rock wall of the pit, a loud yell of anger escaping me as I do. Lauren and Zeke both look at me with blank stares on their faces. I don't wait for them to speak. I stalk out of the Pit towards the training room to take my anger out on the punching bags. I will end up with a broken hand if I stay here much longer. It is going to be a long night.

When I enter the training room the next day, Eric is waiting on me. He has already made the fight list for the day. "What do you think?" he says, an evil sneer curling at his lips.

I glance at the board and my heart stops in my chest when I see it. Tris v. Peter. I don't know what she did yesterday, standing up for Christina no doubt, but what ever it was, it was stupid. Eric will make her pay for embarrassing him. Not just today, but as long as she is in Dauntless. He is not the kind of person that forgives and forgets.

"I thought you would find my matches...intriguing." he says raising his eyebrow on the last word.

"If you call pairing a 5'3" hundred pound girl with a 6'2" two hundred pound boy _intriguing_...then, I guess I would have to agree." I make no effort to hide the disgust in my voice. I don't care what she did to him. This is sadistic and he knows it.

"Aw...what's wrong? The mighty Four feeling a little _Stiff_ this morning?" he looks at me with a mock pouting face, making his facial piercings look even more hideous than usual.

"This is wrong and you know it." I state flatly back at him. I won't allow him to bait me. But, I won't let him think he has won, either. "Besides, after the stunt you pulled yesterday at the chasm, I am surprised Max will let you anywhere near the initiates." He looks a little confused. I guess he didn't expect me to know.

"Max is at Erudite for a few days on assignment from the Council. What he doesn't know wont hurt him." Eric snaps.

"Who says he won't know? The whole compound is covered in security cameras. You _really_ think he can't access them from Erudite headquarters? Who do think installed the monitoring system in the first place?" I expect Eric to come back at me, but I can see from the look on his face, he hasn't thought about that. Good thing he left Erudite. He would have never made it.

Before he can answer, the transfers come in. They look at the board behind Eric and I hear Peter laugh maliciously. I immediately look at Tris. She is staring at the board with a look of what I can only assume is disbelief. Christina shoots me a look of outright disgust, as if I am the one to blame for this.

The first few fights go on without any real surprises. I circle the names of victors on the board without much thought, until I reach the set of names I have been dreading the most. I feel my chest tighten and my heart pounds. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Peter and Tris" I call through gritted teeth. Peter and Tris step into the ring. I feel a knot form in the pit of my stomach as Eric moves up to the edge of the mat, an eager look in his eyes.

They square off. Tris puts her hands up in a defensive position. Good. She's been paying attention. The knot in my stomach loosens a little. But, I know she has no chance of winning. I feel myself move closer to the door. I hear Peter taunting her from the ring.

"You okay there, Stiff?" he says. "You look like you're about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry."

I pucker my lips. He is a bully, no better than my father. His words leave a sour taste in my mouth. I see Tris look at me and I immediately want to stop the fight, but I know the only way to get her off Eric's radar is to let this play out. I keep my face still and do not look back at her. I fix my eyes on a spot just behind her head.

I see Eric tapping his foot in anticipation of the bloodbath that will most certainly follow. I put my hand up to my face and squeeze the bridge of my nose, my eyebrows furrowed. There is nothing I can do to stop this.

"Quit playing with her! I don't have all day!" Eric snarls. This is her punishment and he is impatient for it to start.

Peter's face suddenly becomes hard. He has a menacing look in his eyes. He reminds me of Eric. He had the same look the day we fought. The only difference is, we were fairly matched. The knot in my stomach tightens again. This is going to be a massacre. I feel my back push against the door of the training room. I won't make it long. I know I will have to leave. There is no way I can watch someone beat the hell out of her. I close my eyes and rub the back of my neck.

I look up to see Tris punch Peter in the ribs. He just knocks her down, with a swat of his hand like she is a fly buzzing around him. I pray that she will be smart and lay there, but she springs to her feet. He knocks her down again, this time much harder than before. She heaves herself from the mat, unsteady on her feet. She looks over at me again. Our eyes meet briefly. I can see that wild spark dance within them. Peter punches her hard to side of the head and I see her hit the mat. Blood spraying from her mouth as she falls. I know she is down for good this time, but she raises her head and looks at me as she tries to get up. Peter begins to kick her hard in the ribs. I push through the training room doors. I can't watch anymore of this. The last thing I hear as the door closes behind me is a sickening scream and then silence.

I keep going once I am in the hallway. I head straight for the tattoo parlor. I must look like I am going to hurt someone when I walk in because several people leave, giving me a wide berth on their way out.

"Well you really know how to make friends. Don't you?" Torri's voice says from behind me.

"Something like that." I say through gritted teeth, still on the verge of losing it.

Torri senses the anger in my voice and backs off. "OK...well...uh what can I do for you?" I think for a moment and then say "Just finish it already."

"Are you sure, Four? You said that you wanted all of them _except_ that one. Something about how no one can be that happy all the time."

"Do I sound like I'm in the mood to debate about it?'

Torri doesn't say anything back. She just looks me over slowly, like she is analyzing me. Times like these I can tell she transfered from Erudite. A true Dauntless would have punched my in the face by now. "Lay down."

I lie face down on the table and can hear the familiar hum of her gun start up. I feel the needle piecing my back as she draws the Amity symbol at the bottom of my back.

"Done" she says. She hands me a mirror so I can look at my back.

All the faction symbols are tattooed down my spine with Dauntless flames wrapping around my rib cage and up my neck. Selfless. Brave. True. Intelligent. _Kind_.

She makes me want to be kind.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I stand at the edge of the tracks. I want to fell the power of the train as it rushes past me, I stand there for a moment as it glides past the roof. I see some the initiates jumping on, struggling still. I grab the handle as it passes by me, easily pulling my self into the car. I scan the breathless faces before me. I am not surprised hers is missing. I stare at the city as it passes, trying to clear my head. The gentle rocking of the train relaxes me and I realize how truly tired I am. I never sleep well, but last night was different. I had awoken every hour or so to the same haunting sound. Her scream, high pitched, full of pain and fear.

Peter's arrogant voice whines from behind me. "Feeling ok there...or are you a little _Stiff_."

Laughter ensues from Peter's gang. I don't turn around. I know I will not be able to hide the look of relief on my face, knowing she is ok.

I hear will's voice speak up. "We are all awed by your incredible wit."

Christina chimes in, "Yeah, are you sure you don't belong with the Erudite? I hear they don't object to sissies." A hint of a threat, lacing her last words.

I know its time to step in before someone gets thrown from the train. "Am I going to have to listen to your bickering all the way to the fence?" I stare Peter down hard. Everyone immediately becomes quiet. Most of them looking away, not wanting to meet my eyes. But. not her. Tris's eyes stare back at me. I expect them to look weak, broken after yesterday's beating. I am met with that same wild spark. It grows brighter, burning with intensity. _Beautiful_.

I feel the corners of my mouth begin to raise. I can't stop the smile that begins to spread across my face. I turn, stretching my arms wide, holding the handles on either side of the doorframe. I lean my entire body outside of the train, only my feet stay firmly planted inside. I scream into the wind as it ruses around me, releasing all of my anxiety into the wind. I close my eyes, a rush of adrenaline courses through me. _She is not broken. She is Dauntless._

As we near the fence, the train slows down just enough for us to jump off. I am surprised to see that most of the transfers land on their feet. I hit the ground running and yell, "Follow me." Not pausing to see if they do it.

The fence towers before me, stretching as far as the eye can see, a concrete blade cutting us off from the rest of the world. Encircling the entire city, its only opening the gate standing before me, locked tightly from the outside. The lock being on the outside has always puzzled me. The uneasy feeling it gives me is one of the sole reasons I chose to work in the control room. I still have the same questions now that I did the first time I saw it. Are they trying to keep _Them_ out? Or, are they trying to keep _Us_ in?

Lauren starts in on the Dauntless born about how embarrassing it would be to end up as a guard. I give the transfers another minute to take in the fence, knowing most of them have never seen it, before launching into my speech.

"Listen up!" I shout. I start my explanation of the Dauntless jobs. Going over the various choices and how the rankings determine the order in which new members get to choose. I finish my explanation emphasizing that the lowest ranked initiates will either end up a fence guard or factionless. I see Tris shudder a little at the idea of being factionless. Though, I am not surprised. Most people find the idea of living factionless worse than death. The idea has never bothered me, however. I have even considered it seriously in the past few months. But, I am different from most, never seeming to fit in no matter what faction I am in.

I only chose Dauntless as an escape form my constant torture. I knew they would make me strong, so I would be able to defend myself after spending the first sixteen years of my life defenseless, trapped in a constant nightmare created by my father.

Trapped and defenseless were two things I would never be again. No matter what the costs.

I watch the transfers' faces as the information I have just given them sets in. Some look worried, others determined. I look to see Tris's reaction and her face is white. She stares blankly into space. I was hoping to see that same spark of determination. But, her eyes are hollow. The spark is gone.

Peter's reaction is disturbing. He studies the others' faces, with an almost psychotic look in his eyes. He reminds me of Eric. I can see him planning how he will eliminate the others. He wont be satisfied until all threats to him are removed. He sees me staring at him and I can tell he hasn't gotten over me shutting him up on the train.

"So, if our rankings determine what job we get," he pauses to look smugly at the others. "What rank were you , Four?"

I look back at him cooly, my face steady, careful to appear unaffected by his tone. "First."

He is unable to hide the look of shock on his face. He is momentarily thrown off, but recovers quickly, determined to have the last word. "You were first, and you chose to do this?"

I just look back at him, doing my best to look bored with the conversation. When I don't respond, he continues.

"Why didn't you get a leadership position?"

The other transfers look at me. I can tell they will not this question drop without an explanation, even though I don't owe them one. "Didn't want one." I reply flatly.

I can see the guards pulling the gate open, an Amnity truck loaded with apples sits on the other side. One of the guards waves for me to come look over the security papers, yelling something about codes not matching. I walk over to the truck and the initiates follow me, stopping a few feet away. A few of the Amnity get out of the truck, pleasant smiles on their faces. I finish sorting out the issue with the paperwork. As I turn to tell the initiates to head back to the train, I see Molly, Peter, and Drew circled around Tris and an Amnity boy.

I get a nervous feeling in my stomach. Peter is looking at her with a vicious glare in his eyes. I've seen that look before. It is the same one Eric gives me. She will be his first victim. Why is he threatened by her? She is one of the lowest ranked initiates. She will be lucky to make it through stage one. I suddenly realize, that he's not. He is a true predator. Preying on the weak first. I walk towards the group intent on breaking up whatever Peter is trying to start.

Peter had quickly become one of Eric's favorites after the beating he gave Tris. Surely, she wouldn't be stupid enough to antagonize him. I see her shove him and snap back at molly. Clearly, I am wrong. Tris snaps something at the group and they turn to walk away. I see an evil grin stretched across Molly's face as they pass me. The Amnity boy gives Tris a look of pity as he hops back in the truck. "Wouldn't it be easier if it was?" he says to her, waving as the truck pulls away. I can see a look of fury in her eyes. She is not someone that needs pity.

She stands there a moment, eyes fixed on the guards locking the gate. I walk up to her making sure I am close enough for only her to hear me. "I am worried that you have a knack for making unwise decisions."

She crosses her arms, 'It was a two minute conversation."

I look at her bruised face. She looks like hell. She clearly doesn't realize the danger she is in. I continue, determined to help her realize she needs to be able to protect herself. "I don't think a smaller time frame makes it any less unwise." I furrow my eyebrows and touch the corner of her bruised eye with my fingertips. Her head jerks back, but I don't take my hand away. I tilt my head and sigh, "You know, if you could just learn to attack first, you might do better."

"Attack first?" she says. "How will that help?"

"You're fast. You can get a few good hits in before they know what's going on. You could win." I shrug, and my hand falls away.

"I'm surprised _you_ know that," her voice quiet, "Since you left halfway through my one and only fight."

Her words sting. She thinks I left because I was uninterested in what happened to her. I hear her screaming in my mind. "It wasn't something I wanted to watch." I say shortly. A confused look crosses her face, replaced by one of bitter resentment. _Why does she have to be so damned stubborn? _

I see the train appearing in the distance. I clear my throat, "Looks like the next train is here. Time to go, Tris."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I hear a knock at my door, just before midnight. "Open up! You coward!" Zeke is grinning when I open the door. "Ready to kick Eric's ass?" He laughs. Excitement for tonight's events evident on his face.

We head down to the dorms. Zeke and I part ways at the Dauntless born dorms. Lauren is already waiting outside the door. I turn the corner and walk through the Pit to the transfer dorms. Eric stands outside the door, a baseball bat in his hand. He nods to acknowledge I am there. Then he silently opens the door. I follow him in. The nine transfer initiates are sound asleep.

"Everybody up!" he roars, banging the bat against the metal bed frames. I shine a flashlight into the room. The beam flashes across her face as she jerks upright. By now the other Dauntless who are participating in tonights training excercise have joined us. There is chaos as everyone is yelling and shining flashilghts in the alarmed transfers' faces. I know what they feel like. I almost strangled one of the guys that came to wake us up my training year. Max had to pull me off him and keep him from beating me to death when I finally let him go.

I shine my light back at her. She just sits there frozen. She meets my eyes and I stare back at her. I already know that I will have to keep her close to me tonight.

"Did you go deaf Stiff?" demands Eric. She snaps her attention up at him and slides out of bed, her eyes never leaving him. _Maybe she is starting to take my advice._ Christina stands next to their bunk in only a T-shirt. She folds her arms, her bare legs showing, and stares down Eric. I am happy to see Tris sleeps fully clothed. Just like I did. A clearly Abnegation trait.

"Be at the train in five minutes. Anyone not there can consider themselves factionless." Eric says, turning on his heel and marching out of the dorms.

I linger a moment to make sure she is getting dressed, before heading to the roof. Zeke and Lauren are already there when I arrive. The Dauntless borns would have known about tonight. I doubt any of them were sleeping when Zeke and Lauren went in to wake them. I can see they are already taking their guns and lining up to jump on the train.

I walk up to the very edge of the roof and look down the tracks into the darkness. I can hear the door to the roof slam open as the transfers arrive. Eric yells at them to take a gun.

"Time estimate?" Eric asks as he walks up beside me.

I check my watch. "Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?"

"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" says Eric, shoving my shoulder.

A small light appears in the distance. I begin to bounce on the balls of my feet anticipating the trains arrival. I feel the engine rush in front of me and grab the handle, pulling myself into the car. Eric has an annoyed look on his face and grabs the very next handle struggling a little on the way in. I grin slightly and he narrows his eyes at me. It has always bothered him that life here came so easily to me.

I turn around and hold out my hand. Tris grabs my arm, and I pull her effortlessly into the car. She seems so delicate, her tiny frame not quite fitting the strength it holds inside. I stare into her eyes and she stares back, but only for a moment. I see warmth spreading over her cheeks and my lips turn up slightly. She quickly lets go of my arm and sits down against the wall on the opposite side of the train. She is soon flanked on either side by Christina and Al. When I can see that all the initiates have made it onto the train. I turn and speak up.

"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members. Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same." The car sways, and I grab the side of the doorway for balance. "This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."

"What do we get if we win?" someone shouts.

"Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," I say, raising an eyebrow. "You get to win, of course."

"Four and I will be your team captains," says Eric. He looks at me. "Let's divide up transfers first, shall we?"

I see Tris look up at the ceiling, resting her head back against the wall, clearly under the impression she will be picked last. She thinks that she is weak. Why can't she see how strong she really is?

"You go first," I say. I know it is a risk. But, I am not worried that Eric will pick her. He thinks of tonight as an exercise in brute force. He will pick the highest ranked candidates first, making sure his team is the strongest, before picking the ones he wants to torture. He would definately rather win than risk losing just to satisfy his own twisted needs. Besides, it would look a little strange if I jumped up and shouted her name. If Eric knew I cared about her in the least, she would be in more danger than she already is. I can't risk that.

Eric shrugs. "Edward."

I am releived, but not surprised by his choice. Edward is ranked number one out of the transfers. I lean against the door frame, trying my best to look bored with all of this. I breifly scan the group of initiates, like none of them are really that appealing of a choice. "I want the Stiff." I shrug. I hear some of the other initiates laughing. Tris's cheeks blush slightly. I can't tell if she is embarrassed or angry.

Eric and I continue to rattle off names.

"Peter"

"Christina"

"Al"

"Will"

We continue through the transfers and then move on to the Dauntless born. We finish choosing teams right before the train arrives at the pier. I can see the marsh spreading out in the moonlight before us. It used to be filled with water, before they built the fence, before the war. I try to imagine what it would have looked like with water in it, the ancient ships now lying rusted along its bottom, floating atop the waves. _Weird_.

"Your team can get off second," says Eric. Snapping me back to reality.

"Don't do me any favors," I reply. I raise my eyebrow and smile a little. "You know I don't need them to win." Twisting at the knife in Eric's side. My team has defeated his the past two years. I have no doubt we will win again. Eric still doesn't understand, strategy is more important than strength, as evident by his choices of team members.

"No, I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off," says Eric, biting down briefly on one of the rings in his lip. "Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."

With that I leap from the train. My team follows me, the Dauntless-born whooping and yelling taunts back at Eric's team. I look back and see Tris land on the ground, her feet solidly underneath her. She winces a little, not fully healed from the beating she took from Peter a few days ago. I see a proud look on her face, despite the pain, clearly happy that she landed on her feet and not her face like most of the other transfers. We continue to walk into the abandoned part of the city. She has to jog to keep up with the group, her legs so much shorter than the rest of us.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. Marlene looks up at me, a flirtatious grin on her face. "When your team won, where did you put the flag."

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene," I cooly reply.

"Come on, Four," she whines, wrapping her hand around my bicep pulling at my arm playfully. I stop and brush her hand off my arm, giving her a look to let her know I am uninterested. I see Tris grin, and I can't help but smile. I look away quickly, but I know she saw me.

"Navy Pier," Uriah calls out. He runs up beside Marlene, giving her the same flirtatious smile she had just given me. "My brother was on the winning team. They kept the flag at the carousel." He bumps Marlene's shoulder, clearly flirting with her and starts teasing her about using her flashlight. She runs on ahead of me and the rest of the group trying to catch up with Uriah. _Thank God._ That is the last thing I need tonight.

We reach the carousel. I turn and point my flashlight at the group of initiates. "In ten minutes the other team will pick their location. I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect." Tris nods in agreement. Will reaches out and takes the flag from my hand. The initiates all begin to argue, each fighting to be the leader of the pack. None of them are true leaders. Leadership must be earned, not won.

I lean back against one of the broken down horses on the carousel. Closing my eyes. This may be Eric's night after all, if they don't get their shit together soon. I hear a hand press against metal. There is no way they found us this fast. I look out into the darkness and I see a small silouhette heading out towards the end of the pier. Tris is all alone. _Why does she insist on going places alone? Has she not realized there is safety in numbers?_ The only reason I picked Christina was so there would be someone to protect Tris if I wasn't there. God knows it wasn't because I enjoy her company.

She begins to run when she thinks she is out of earshot from the others. I begin to jog behind her. She can hear my footsteps gaining on her and speeds up. She is fast, especially for her size. But my long legs easily catch up to her. I am at least a foot taller than she is, maybe more.

She slows down at the base of the ferris wheel, looking up at it. cautiously, she gabs a hold of what is left of the ladder at its base. I see her bounce up and down on the bottom rung, checking to make sure it will support her weight.

"Tris," I say in a low voice. She is not startled that I am there. Her reaction so different from the shy Abnegation girl I pulled from the net. She is becoming Dauntless.

"Yes?" she says.

"I came to find out what you think you're doing."

"I'm seeking higher ground," she says. "I don't think I'm doing anything."

I smile back her in the dark. "All right. I'm coming."

She pauses a second and looks at me. She looks happy that I am there, yet insulted at the same time. She studies my face for a moment. "I'll be fine," she says, a little defensive.

"Undoubtedly," I reply, being careful not to sound sarcastic. I want her to know that I am sincere. She will be fine. I'm the one with a fear of heights.

She climbs. I take a moment and clear my thoughts, pushing the fear aside telling myself this is no different than the tower in my fear landscape. When I am ready, I start after her. We climb higher and higher. I feel my heart begin to race. Panic setting in the higher we go. I know that I will soon have to give into it. I have to find a way to distract myself or I won't be able to continue.

"So tell me…," I say, breathless. "What do you think the purpose of this exercise is? The game, I mean, not the climbing."

The wind has gotten stronger the higher we climb. She looks down at the pavement as if considering my question. A gush of cold air rushes against the side of us. It presses the fabric of her shirt to her side. Her frame no longer so fragile looking as it clings to the tight athletic form it normally hides.

Her hands cling tighter to the runs of the ladder and she tenses her body to steady herself against the wind. "Learning about strategy," she says. "Teamwork, maybe."

"Teamwork," I repeat. A laugh hitches in my throat. The panic threatening to take hold of me.

"Maybe not," she says, a little unsure of herself, "Teamwork doesn't seem to be a Dauntless priority."

I can tell she has mistaken my panic for amusement at her answers. I don't want her to think I am mocking her. I speak up again, a gentle tone in my voice, "It's supposed to be a priority. It used to be."

I see her legs are slightly shaking, her hand almost missing the next rung. I panic suddenly at the thought of her broken body on the ground below us and my words come out more forcefully than I intend, "Now tell me…what do you think learning strategy has to do with…bravery?"

Moonlight passes across her face and I expect to see fear from her near fall. Instead her eyes are bright, dancing with that wild spark, only it is bigger some how, brighter, like she is truly awake up here. My heart begins to pound in my chest and my breathing becomes louder and heavier. I tell myself it is from the height, but I know that this is a lie. Its not the height this time. Its her.

"It…it prepares you to act," she finally says. "You learn strategy so you can use it." She pauses, and I know she can hear how hard I am breathing. "Are you all right, Four?"

"Are you human, Tris? Being up this high…" I gulp for air, realizing how close we are to each other. "It doesn't scare you at all?"

A gust of air presses hard against us, throwing off her balance. She gasps and clings to the rungs. Instinctively, I clamp my hand around her hip, my finger slips under the hem of her shirt brushing against her bare skin. Her body feels warm against my cold hand. I feel her hip bone press against my palm as I squeeze her waist restoring her balance. "You okay?"

"Yes," she says in a strained voice.

We continue to the platform at the top of the ladder. Tris walks up to edge and sits down, letting her legs hang over the edge. I stay at the back, crouched down, my feet firmly planted to the platform. I lean back against the metal support, breathing heavily. This time it is definitely the height.

"You're afraid of heights. How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?" she says turning to look at me.

"I ignore my fear," I say. "When I make decision, I pretend it doesn't exist."

She stares at me for a second. I can tell she is thinking about something, like she wants to say something, but is holding back.

I tilt my head a little, staring back at her, "What?" I say quietly.

She looks down at her hands. "Nothing."

I continue to look at her, wishing she would just tell me what she is thinking. She looks back out at the city.

"We're not high enough," she says, looking up at the scaffolding above us. "I'm going to climb," she says, standing up. She grabs one of the bars above her head and pulls her self up.

"For God's sake, Stiff," I say, looking at her in frustration.

"You don't have to follow me," she says.

I watch as she places her foot on a bar and pushes herself higher up. Her body sways slightly. The image of her broken body lying on the ground pops into my head again. I shake my head. "Yes I do."

I grab the bar above my head and pull my self up easily. Tris stops above me. I continue climbing until I am right behind her. Her body is trapped between mine and the metal bars. We are only inches apart. She moves her arm to point at something and her shoulder blade brushes against my chest. I lean forward like I am trying to get a better veiw of what she is pointing at, but really I just want to be as close to her as possible. I look out into the distance towards where she is pointing. We must be 100 feet up. I should be terrified right now, but feeling her close to me makes me feel safe. There is bright orange light glowing in the distance. She looks up at me and grins. "They're in the park." I say smiling back at her. "Let's go."


	7. Chapter 7

We start climbing back down. I feel my feet touch the platform and look up at Tris. She is only a few feet above me. I start down the ladder and hear scream, a metal bar falls past me and slams to the ground 50 feet below.

"Four! Help." Tris's voice rings out from above me. I look up to see her feet kicking wildly in the air.

"Hold on!" I yell back up at her. I start to climb down as fast as I can, taking the rungs two and three at a time.

My feet slam to the ground as I jump down the last ten feet or so. _Please, let this work._ I run to what I think is the control panel. There is a large round button in the middle and I can only assume it is the power switch, the words on the metal box rusted away long ago. I slam it down with the heel of my hand and hear the metal gears start to grind into action. I run out from under the wheel just far enough to where I can see her. _Come on Tris...Just hold on._ When she is about ten feet from the ground, she lets go. She hits the ground and rolls hard to the side. One of the metal carriages misses her by centimeters. She stops flat on her back with her hands covering her face. I run over to her and kneel down, wrenching her hands from her face. I am expecting to find tears, but instead I am met with a wide smile and a burst of excited laughter escapes her mouth.

I press her cold hands between mine trying to warm them. "You alright?" I ask.

She nods her head at me. I start to laugh with relief and she starts to laugh too. I can't help but notice how beautiful she looks when she laughs. She pushes herself up to a sitting position. Her body is so close to mine and all I want to do is press her against me. She stares up at me. There is an electricity in the air between our bodies. I want to kiss her, but I lose my nerve.

I pull her up and we start running towards the carousel to the others. I look back to see if she is alright. She is limping a little, but other than that seems to be fine. Her eyes have an alive look about them. They sparkle in the moonlight. I don't know why just seeing her can make me smile, but it does. We reach the carousel and are met with Lauren holding a gun aimed right at us.

"Don't shoot. Its only us." I say in a hushed voice.

Lauren is clearly irritated. She rolls her eyes at us and says, "Don't know why you are bothering to whisper. You might as well have drawn them a map to where we were. What the hell were you thinking turning on the wheel? I swear Four, the only reason I wanted to be on your team was I knew we would win. If I have to lose three years in a row, because you decided to be an idiot all the sudden..."

I cut her off, "The wheel doesn't matter, now. We climbed the wheel and we know where Eric's team is hiding their flag."

"We?" Christina asks.

"Yeah, while the rest of you were twidling your thumbs. Tris climbed to the top of the wheel to look for the other team." I snap back at her. Still angry she let Tris go off on her own. But after what I have witnessed tonight, I am getting the feeling no one _lets_ Tris do anything.

"So what do we do now?" Marlene asks. I don't answer her. I just calmly look down at Tris and slowly the others turn their attention towards her as well.

Tris maks a plan of attack and the others agree. We head off towards the park and the area where Eric's team is hiding. We see their team up ahead and begin our attack. I duck down low and run as quietly as possible behind a large tree. I drop down on my stomach and prop my self up on my elbows. I start to pick off Eric's team, neon yellow paint spaying over my victims. I take out at least five people before they realize where I am shooting from. I get up to move locations and here Christina yell triumphantly. When I walk towards my end of the park, she is waving the flag proudly above her head. Tris is walking a few steps behind her looking a little jealous.

I jog a little bit to catch up with them. I want to say something to her, to comfort her in some way. I grab her arm at the elbow, pulling her back away from the others a little. They don't notice. They are too caught up in their own excitement to care what we are doing. "Tris," I start. But I can't seem to get words to come out of mouth. The air around us has a charged feeling to it again. I feel like it is sucking the air out of lungs.

"Yes?" she asks, smiling at me curiously.

"Good job tonight." I say. My nerves failing me once again.

"Oh, uh, thanks, Four." she says.

I let go of her arm and she hurries to catch the others. Zeke and Lauren catch up to us and we all wait to get on the train. I jump in after everyone else is onboard and stand with my back againt the doorframe. Tris and her group of friends sit against the back wall passing the flag back and forth between them.

"So I hear the Stiff has quite a few surprises in her. She must have some Dauntless in there to have climbed that wheel." He grins and looks over at Tris. "She's hot. Who knew she was hiding that body under those Abnegation clothes. Looks like Uri's noticed too. That'a boy, Uri. Get some."

I look over to see Uriah sitting down next to Tris. Pressing up against the side of her so that she is squeezed between him and Marlene. He says something to her and she smiles. I suddenly have the urge to throw him off the train.

Lauren groans a little, "He is going to be impossible to put up with tomorrow during training. Not to mention Marlene's going to have to find some one new to flirt with. My day's gonna be awesome."

Uriah squeezes a paintball and it sprays pink paint all over his face. He squeezes it again and wipes paint all over Tris's cheeks. I make a mental note to kill him in his sleep later. Maybe it isn't a bad thing that he likes her, the more protection she has from Eric the better. She is laughing so hard, she can't breathe. I haven't had the chance to see her this way in training. I hope I have a chance to see her this way again.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:Thanks for all the follows, faves, and reviews! Please keep them coming, I will be updating two more times this weekend. **

**Disclaimer:I do not own Divergent or any of its related content or characters. All rights go to Veronica Roth. **

Chapter 6.

My alarm goes off way too early. _Seven fifteen._ We didn't get back to the compound until after four last night. Lauren was right, its going to be a long day. Eric is going to be in awful mood from last nights loss. I hope none of the transfers do anything stupid. I'm too tired to pull someone from the chasm today.

I get to the training room and Eric is setting the throwing knives out on the table. I don't say anything. I just start getting the targets set up. I hear the initiates file into the room. He stands up tall and firm, like there is a metal rod where his spine used to be. I can feel the tension in the room, like the air is pressing down on me. He is looking for something, anything, to give him a reason to explode. He is dangerous.

"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one," Eric says. "You will resume fighting then. Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives." His voice is deeper than usual. "And pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them."

No one moves. They all stand there looking between Eric and I. Not quite sure what to do. They are clearly exhausted as well.

"Now!" Eric growls at them. They all scramble for daggers and line up in front of the targets. At least, they are using their heads for once.

Eric gives me a look of pure hatred. He took last nights loss hard. I knew he would. Capture the flag is a matter of pride. Pride is important in Dauntless. I know that I can't afford to revel in my victory, especially since I owe most of it to Tris. He is looking for any reason to attack today. I can't give him that reason, and I hope she doesn't either.

I walk up to one of the targets. I position myself carefully, taking aim. I inhale and let the knife fly, exhaling as I release. It sticks perfectly in the center of the board. I can feel her watching me. studying my movements. I repeat the process two more times, making sure to describe to the initiates what I am doing each time.

Eric orders them to line up and begin throwing. I walk behind them watching their form as they throw. Most of them start throwing as soon as they have a knife in their hand. No one hits the target. The sounds of metal hitting concrete echo in the room. I stop for a minute behind Tris. She hasn't thrown a knife yet. There is one in her hand, but she is taking her time, practicing the rhythm of my movements, trying to memorize the feeling before she throws. She is careful and thoughtful in her actions.

"I think the stiff has taken one to many shots to the head." Peter laughs. "Hey Stiff! Remeber what a knife is?"

I see her body tense. She inhales and exhales deeply, closing her eyes. I can tell that his comment got to her, but she doesn't take the bait. _Smart girl, Tris._ In one graceful motion, she lets the knife in her hand fly. It hits the target, handle side first, and bounces to the ground. She is the first to come close to even hitting the target. I smile slightly behind her.

"Hey Peter, remember what a target is?" she says back, sarcastically.

I see him bristle at her words. He begins to throw again, more determined. I laugh, and walk away to cover it up. I see her smile a satisfied smile. She narrows her eyes at the target, takes aim, and lets another one fly. It sticks firmly in the target. The handle quivering a little on impact. She is the first one to land one. Eric has a look of shock on his face. I keep walking so that he can't see the look of pride on my face.

We continue throwing for a solid hour. Al is the only initiate who has not managed to hit the target. As all the other initiates go to collect their knives from the target, he searches the floor. I see Eric leave his position on the wall and come fast towards Al. I stop where I am and cross my arms, watching. This is not going to end well.

"How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?" Eric snarls at him.

Al's face turns red. He throws another knife, and this one sails a few feet to the right of the target. It spins and hits the wall.

"What the hell was that initiate?" says Eric quietly, leaning closer to Al.

"It—it slipped," says Al.

"Well, I think you should go get it," Eric says. He scans the other initiates' faces—everyone has stopped throwing again—and says, "Did I tell you to stop?"

Knives start to hit the board. I have seen Eric angry before, but this is different. He has an almost psychotic look in his eyes. I watch them both carefully, ready to step in if necessary.

"Go get it." Eric snaps inches from Al's face.

"Go get it?" Al's eyes are wide. "But everyone's still throwing."

"And?" Eric spits.

"And I don't want to get hit." Al says.

Bad move. _Bad fucking move, Al_. Of all the days to grow a spine, he picks this one. What is it with the Candor? My face tenses and I feel my muscle go rigid, alert. I really don't have the energy for this today.

"I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you." Eric smiles a little, but his eyes stay cruel. "Go get your knife."

Al stands resolutely in front of Eric. He is a good three inches taller than Eric. He would look menacing, if he wasn't such a coward. There isn't a cruel bone in his body. He was never cut out for life as a Dauntless.

"No." he says.

"Why not? Are you afraid?" Eric says, narrowing his eyes at Al.

"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife?" he says, a little hysterically. "Yes, I am!"

"Everyone stop!" Eric commands. The initiates freeze immediately. "Everyone, except you." he says, glaring at Al.

"Clear out of the ring. Except you." Eric looks at Al like he is a piece of meat. A predator looking at its prey.

I glance back at the initiates, checking to see that they all comply. Everyone is backing out of the ring. Tris stands at the back of them. As they all clamor for a better view, she steps back in the corner further. She looks as if she is going to be sick. I hate to see her so upset by the current situation, but I am happy that she is smart enough to keep out of view.

"Stand in front of the target," says Eric.

Al's big hands shake. He walks back to the target.

"Hey, Four." Eric looks over his shoulder. "Give me a hand here, huh?"

_Oh, hell, here we go._ I scratch one of my eyebrows with a knife point and approach Eric. I can feel Tris behind me, her eyes watching my every move. _I have to stop this._ If I don't, she will think I am as cruel as he is.

"You're going to stand there as he throws those knives," Eric says to Al, "until you learn not to flinch." Eric was never any good at throwing knives. He is determined to teach Al a lesson, but he does't want to kill him, either. He is still in trouble for the stunt he pulled with Christina. Purposely injuring another initiate would end his career in Dauntless and he knows it. He needs my help to pull this off. But, I draw the line at pointless cruelty. I will not participate in this willingly.

"Is this really necessary?" I say. Trying to sound bored, but I don't look it. My face and body are tense, alert.

I see Tris out of the corner of my eye. She sqeezes her fists tightly. She is nervous. She can sense the danger in the room. She knows that my response was a challenge.

Eric stares at me for a minute. I stare back. I am not backing down.

"I have the authority here, remember?" Eric says, so quietly I can barely hear him. "Here, and everywhere else."

Color rushes into my face, though my expression does not change. I tighten my grip on the knives in anger and turn to face Al. He looks absolutely terrified. Despite his size, all I see is a frightened child. A frightened child in gray Abnegation clothing, waiting for the belt to strike down hard against him.

Tris looks from my face to Al's and back again. _Don't do it, Tris._ I close my eyes knowing what she is about to do, but praying that she doesn't.

"Stop it!" she yells.

I turn the knife in my hand, running my fingers slowly down the metal edge trying to remind her what she is asking for. I stare her down hard. She immediately turns to stone. She knows it was stupid to speak up. _Reckless._

"Any idiot can stand in front of a target. It doesn't prove anything except that you are a bully. I seem to recall you telling us that picking on the weak is a sign of cowardice." She stares at Eric. But I know she feels my eyes on her. Warning her. The cowardice remark went too far. Eric's eyes flash at her. She will pay for that last remark. He will not be satisfied until he sees her blood.

"Then it should be easy for you, if you are willing, to take his place." he says. The gauntlet clearly lain before her.

_Be smart Tris. Backdown._ But, I know better. The wild spark dances across her eyes. She will not back down form this, from him, from anyone. She moves to take Al's place infront of the target. Her head doesn't even reach the targets shoulders. She lifts her chin up and stares at me. Her eyes study mine. For a moment, she looks nervous.

"If you flinch, Al takes your place, understand?" I say carefully.

She nods at me, but I know she doesn't understand what I am trying to tell her. I pull my elbow back and throw, my eyes never leaving her hers. The knife stabs in the board, six inches from her cheek. She closes her eyes and lets out a sigh of relief.

"About done Stiff?" I say through clenched teeth.

"No." she snaps back at me.

"Eyes open then." I tap between my eyebrows with the point of the knife.

Her eyes open wide flashing that wild spark at me. I never take my eyes off of hers, trying to communicate the danger she is in. I let the second knife fly. It hits the board two inches above her head. He eyes grow wide when she realizes wher the knife hit. but her eyes never leave mine. There is a look of fury spreading across her face. I can see her hands shaking, but she presses them against her sides to hide it.

"Come on Stiff, let someone else stand there and take it." I say, annoyance in my tone.

"Shut up, Four!" she spits back at me.

My eyes glint at her. I am going to end this now. I am angry at Eric for starting this whole mess, angry at Al for being such a miserable coward, and angry at her for being so reckless. I know what I have to do to this end this. She has no idea the position she is putting me in, or maybe she does and just doesn't care. Either way, I am done with this. In one swift motion I hurl the last knife towards her. Her body stiffens and then I see the blood run down her ear. I give her a pointed look. Letting her know with my face that we are done here.

There is absolute rage dancing in her eyes as she touches her hand to her ear. The knife stuck in board mere centimeters from her face.

Eric claps his hands and says something to the others about being as brave as Tris and then squeezes her on the shoulder like she is his new favorite toy. Her body goes rigid at his touch. She never takes her eyes off me. I try to pretend that I can't see her staring at me, pretend that I don't want to return her stare. But, I know that giving Eric any reason to think messing with her, messes with me is too dangerous.

I start to clean up the knives and the targets as the initiates leave. Tris hangs around waiting for us to be alone. I know she thinks I am on Eric's side in all this. When I hear the door shut behind the last few, I walk towards her in attempt to explain.

"Is your—" I begin.

"You did that on purpose!" I shout.

"Yes, I did," I say quietly. "And you should thank me for helping you."

She grits her teeth. "Thank you? You almost stabbed my ear, and you spent the entire time taunting me. Why should I thank you?"

"You know, I'm getting a little tired of waiting for you to catch on!" I snap back at her, anger and anxiety getting the better of me. I glare at her, but I can't help but worry about her. The thought of anything happening to her makes me feel sick.

"Catch on? Catch on to what? That you wanted to prove to Eric how tough you are? That you're sadistic, just like he is?" her voice cracks a little, the stress of today wearing on her. I feel like someone just punched me. She does think I am on the same side as Eric. Cruel and calculating, praying on the weak, just like my father.

"I am not sadistic." I say quietly. I lean in close to her. She looks scared, like I am going to attack her at any moment. "If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have done it already?"

I can feel my anger rising in my chest. I want to grab her and shake her. Scream at her that she is reckless and is going to get herself killed. At the same time, I want to wrap her in my arms and bury my face in hers. She frustrates me and facinates me. I walk away to stop myself from doing both. I slam the knife in my hand into the table and it sticks there. I stare at the wall, my back towards her.

"I-" she starts to shout at me, but I can't stay here. If I stay here, I will do something I regret or something that will endanger her. I can't have either right now. After initiation, it will be different. Right now, protecting her is more important. I walk out the room slamming the door behind me. I can hear Tris scream in frustration as the door closes.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I am planning on including some events not included in the book, to help develop Four's point of view more in the upcoming chapters. Thanks to everyone that continues to read.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, its characters, or its related content. Copyright of Divergent is owned by Veronica Roth.**

Chapter 9

I go down to the Pit earlier than usual. It is visiting day. I don't expect any visitors, in fact, I hope that he doesn't visit. But I know he won't, visiting me would be admitting that the rumors were true. He wouldn't risk that. I tell myself that it is just to stop by the tattoo parlor, and talk to Tori, but that is a lie too.

I look around the Pit. Most of the transfers have at least one visitor. They look happy but not too happy, Eric gave them a stern warning to look as detached as possible. Faction before Blood and all.

"Hoping for a long lost girlfriend to show up or something?" Zeke's voice says from behind me.

"Very funny." I say. "No, I am just making sure none of the initiates do anything stupid. Eric threatened them pretty good about what is expected of a Dauntless on visiting day."

"He is such a jerk. Just because his family hates him doesn't mean that he has to ruin it for everyone." Zeke says. "Well, I better go. Moms got some big reunion planned for us before the party. Plus, I dont want to miss out on the cake." He slaps me on the shoulder as he walks away.

I continue to study the faces below me, trying to convince myself that the lie I told Zeke was true. I can lie to him and everyone else, but I can't lie to myself. I am looking for Tris. The day after the knife throwing incident, she had to fight Molly. I was sure she would lose, but she shocked the hell out of everybody when I had to pull her off Molly. She took her to the ground in a couple of well placed punches and then started kicking her so fiercely that Molly had to spend the night in the infirmary. Tris broke several of Molly's ribs and her nose. She was a little scary, really. I don't think she even knew what she was doing at the end. She was in this kind of blind rage.

I don't expect anyone to visit her today. I don't think Abnegation would come to Dauntless. I don't want her to be alone today. Maybe if I can catch her in all the chaos I can talk to her, explain to her about the other day, without anyone really noticing.

I don't see her, she must have thought the same thing about not having any visitors and decided to stay in the dorms. I am about to head there when I see it. Gray in a sea of black. Tris's mom is here. I freeze instantly, what if she recognizes me. Its been a long time, but Tris's father works for my father. We used to have dinner at the Prior's house weekly. I see Tris hug her, joy spreading across her face. She introduces her mother to the other initiates and their families. I want to leave, but I can't. Seeing her so happy, the stress melting away from her, makes me want to be closer to her.

I walk to the chasm. I stand at the railing, watching the water for a moment before turning around. I am a little surprised to see Tris and her mom standing directly behind me. Tris tries to walk away, but her mother's eyes meet mine and she reaches out her hand.

"Natalie Prior," she says. Shaking my hand. It is a Dauntless greeting. _Was Tris's mom Dauntless? _ No, she is Abnegation. She would know the proper greeting of every faction, in order to make those around her feel comfortable.

"Four. Its nice to meet you." I say.

"Four. Is that a nickname?" Natalie asks.

"Yes." I say. Tris looks at me with a questioning look on her face. "Your daughters doing well here. I've been overseeing her training." I say in my best instructor voice.

"That's good to hear. I know a few things about Dauntless initiation. I can't say I wan't worried about her.." Natalie says. How would she know anything about Dauntless training? I look at Tris, my eyes tracing the features of her face.

"You shouldn't worry." I say smiling, my eyes never leaving Tris. She blushes and bites her bottom lip, her eyes darting to the chasm. Natalie is watching us. She studies my face as I study her daughters. Her eyes narrow, like she is trying to remember something.

"Do I know you?' she asks. " I feel like I know you from somewhere."

I tense up, but make sure that it doesn't show on the outside. "I don't think so. I don't make it habit to hang out with Abnegation." I say, making sure to sound like an arrogant Dauntless, like Eric. Tris gives me a look to let me know she doesn't appreciate me being rude to her mother.

I take my cue to leave. "Well, " I say, clearing my throat. "I will let you get back to your reunion."

I walk away from the chasm to the dining hall. That was close. A little too close. I am sure Natalie recognized me. But, she didn't say anything. I hope she doesn't say anything to Tris. I am planning on telling her, but not now. I have to wait until after initiation. It won't be safe until then.

[Page Break]

That night I wait in the dorms for the initiates. I stand against the wall with the chalkboard leaned against my legs so that the initiates can't see the rankings. They file in the room and jockey for the best view of the board.

"For those of you who just came in, I'm explaining how the ranks are determined," I say. "After the first round of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The number of points you earn depends on your skill level and the skill level of the person you beat. You earn more points for improving and more points for beating someone of a high skill level. I don't reward preying on the weak. That is cowardice."

My eyes linger on Peter at that last line, but I move on to the other initiates making sure that it isn't obvious I am speaking directly to him.

"If you have a high rank, you lose points for losing to a low-ranked opponent." I finish. Molly lets out a grumble of outrage. I shoot her a look, knowing she is thinking about her last fight with Tris.

"Stage two of training is weighted more heavily than stage one, because it is more closely tied to overcoming cowardice," I say. "That said, it is extremely difficult to rank high at the end of initiation if you rank low in stage one."

Tris shifts nervously at the back of the initiates. I find her in the group and her eyes meet mine. She looks away quickly.

"We will announce the cuts tomorrow," I say. "The fact that you are transfers and the Dauntless-born initiates are not will not be taken into consideration. Four of you could be factionless and none of them. Or four of them could be factionless and none of you. Or any combination thereof. That said, here are your ranks."

I turn and hang the board on the hook and step back so we can see the rankings:

1. Edward

2. Peter

3. Will

4. Christina

5. Molly

6. Tris

I look at Tris. She looks overcome with relief. I know she didn't expect her rank to be that high. But, I meant what I said about the point system. She is one of the most improved initiates and beating Molly the other day certainly gave her a boost she needed. I try to keep my face even, but I can feel the corners of my mouth turning up seeing her reaction. She has escaped being factionless at least for the time being.

The initiates study the board for a moment and Christina is the first to spot it. Tris looks at her face and then back to the rankings. Her eyes widen slightly when she ealizes what Christina is staring at. Molly is staring at the same thing and know she won't let it go without an explanation. I don't want to leave them to fight it out, so I wait a moment.

"What?" demands Molly. She points at Christina. "I beat her! I beat her in minutes, and she's ranked above me?"

"Yeah," says Christina, crossing her arms. She wears a smug smile. "And?"

"If you intend to secure yourself a high rank, I suggest you don't make a habit of losing to low-ranked opponents," I say, my voice cutting through the mutters and grumbles of the other initiates. I pocket the chalk and start to walk out of the dorm. I take one last look at Tris as I leave. Her face has fallen a little, and I know my last words had to sting. She is after all the lower ranked initiate I was referring to. But, she will have to get over it. Its the truth. I still feel badly for putting her down though.

That night I wake up to Lauren pounding on my door. I throw on some pants and a shirt and open the door, still a little out of it.

"God Lauren, its like two in the morning, are you drunk or something?" I say, annoyed that she woke me up. But as the words leave my mouth I see Lauren's face is covered in shock. Something bad has happened. _Tris._ What if Molly did something to her, because of what I said in the dorms. I start to feel panic setting in and swallow hard to keep my voice even.

"Lauren, what is it? What happened?" I say with a look of concern edging into fear on my face.

"Its one of the transfers. Edward. He was...well attacked. Somebody stabbed him in the eye, with a butter knife no less." Lauren says. She grimaces at the the last line, picturing it in her head.

_Thank God. It wasn't Tris._ I just nod at her and close the door behind me. We head to the infirmary, Edward is already there. Myra sits quietly by his side, her face tear stained. I walk up and look at Edward. He has a bandage wrapped around his head, blood is seeping through the layers of gauze over his left eye. He will be partially blind, there is no way he will be able to continue.

"What happened?" I ask Myra.

"I don't know." she says, still a little dazed. "We were all asleep and then he screamed...it was a terrible scream...so painful. Then somebody turned on the light and there was blood everywhere. So much blood. Edward was on the ground holding the knife in his eye, trying to pull it out, but Tris wouldn't let him. I don't know how she knew what to do, but she did. She wouldn't let him pull it out. She kept him calm until the doctor got there. She is a lot braver than people give her credit for. The rest of us just stood there, too afraid to move."

I just stand there silently for a moment, trying to take in what Myra told me. Tris was the only one to act in the moment of fear. A true Dauntless.

"Do you know who did it?" Lauren says.

Myra just shakes her head, but I have a good idea who it was. Peter. I knew there was something off about that kid. He is more dangerous than anyone believes. I will have to keep a close eye on him from now on. I won't be able to report it since there were no witnesses to the actual stabbing. But if he gives me the slightest reason, I will ruin him. He will be factionless.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Most of this chapter is not in the book. I hope you like it. Thank you so much for all the reviews. If you send me a review with a comment or question, I will PM you back. Thanks for continuing to read!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or any of its characters. Copyright of all original characters and dialogue Veronica Roth.**

Chapter 10

I try to go back to sleep for a little while after a long night of dealing with the incident. Max agreed not to address the initiates until after I had a chance to talk to some of them about last night. They might be more willing to come forward about what the know, if they didn't think they would end up factionless because of of it. Edward of course wouldn't have a choice in wether or not he was factionless, but I was surprised that Myra decided to drop out with him. She must really love him to choose that life over this one. I don't think I have ever loved anyone like that. I'm not sure that I am capable of loving anyone like that, really.

I lay on my bed, and even though I am exhausted, both mentally and physically, I can't sleep. I just stare at the wall reading the words Fear God Alone, over and over again. I painted that on the wall as soon as I moved in as a reminder to myself that I was now Dauntless. No longer the scared Abnegation boy that jumped into the net. My trainer, Amar, said those words to me right before my first trip into my fear landscape. I repeated them over and over in my head, while Marcus was beating me in my last fear. I think they are the only reason I was able to beat the simulation that first time.

I get up and head down to the dining hall. It must be about lunchtime now. I see Zeke, Shauna, and a few others sitting at our usual table. I walk over and sit down, trying to shake the exhaustion from me.

"So, first stage is over, you know what tonight is." Zeke says, a wide grin spreading across his face.

I know what tonight is, but there is no way in hell he is getting me to go zip lining. Even if he doesn't know I have a fear of heights, I wouldn't do that. It seems insane to me that anyone would willingly hurl themselves off a hundred story building. I just shrug at him and continue to eat.

"What's up with you today, bro? Long night? Come on what's her name." Zeke continues.

"One of the transfers was attacked lat night." Lauren interjects. "Somebody stabbed him in the eye with a butter knife." She shudders again, thinking about it.

"Harsh." Zeke says in a shocked tone. "Sorry, Four, I didn't know."

"No problem." I reply, flatly. "It will just make cuts that much easier. He was ranked first though. Too bad really. His girlfriend decided to be factionless with him, so none of the transfers are getting cut this round. We will see what happens after stage three."

"We are cutting two of the Dauntless born, but they don't have any family left. I think their parents are already factionless." Lauren says. She looks a little sad. Cuts have always been hard for Lauren. I don't know why they aren't for me, but I've never been very good at caring about people. Kind of ironic, since I was raised in Abnegation.

We finish lunch and I head out to find Max. I see Will and Tris walking around the Pit. I don't know why, but seeing her with him makes me angry. I'm sure that he is just trying to be a good friend, I think he has a thing for Christina, anyway. But, I still I don't like it. I want to be the one she is talking to right now. She seems shaken up. I'm sure about last night. I want to go over and tell her how amazing what she did for Edward was, but I don't. Instead, I just keep walking towards Max's office to tell him about how the cuts will work. I will find her later in the dorms when I go to talk to the others about what happened. I can find a way to work it in then, that way it won't seem so obvious that I am concerned about her. Molly already has Tris on her radar after the rankings and I don't want to give her or anyone else a reason to think I am showing favoritism towards Tris.

I find Max in his office. Eric is there too. He makes some remark about how brave it was for someone to attack Edward in the dorm with everybody else there. He seems almost impressed by it. _Psycho._ He _would_ be impressed by something like that. He is probably sorry he didn't think to do it when we were initiates. I tell them how Edward leaving will effect everyone else's rankings and they agree to let Al stay at least through the end of stage two. He was supposed to be cut, but with two initiates willingly leaving, there is no reason to make him go.

I start to head for the dorms. As I am walking down the hall, I see a small form sitting alone against the wall. I would know that blond hair anywhere. Tris sits with her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms tightly wrapped around them. Her head is propped against the wall. Her eyes are closed, clearly lost in her own thoughts. What is it with her and being in dark places alone. Is she trying to make it easy for someone to attack her? I slow down slightly, not wanting to scare her. Here is my chance to talk to her, just the two of us. My heart speeds up a bit, but I try to ignore it. Why does she make me so nervous?

When I am a couple of feet away from her, I hear foot steps coming from the other direction. Uriah and a couple of other Dauntless born come around the corner. They practically run over her, before they notice her sitting there. I stop, hoping they don't see me in the dark hallway.

"Tris?" Uriah says. His voice sounds concerned. "You okay?"

I see some of the Dauntless born exchange looks, but Uriah just waves them on without him.

"I had a difficult night." Tris says, confusion and sadness clear in her voice.

"Yeah, I heard about that guy Edward." Uriah says looking down the hallway. I don't think he can see me, but I take a step back, farther into the shadows, just to make sure. I don't usually make a habit of eaves dropping, but I can't make myself leave this spot. I want to know what Uriah is going to say to her, or more to the point, what she is going to say to Uriah.

I see Uriah grin at her and she gives him a curious look. "Want to get out of here?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at her. Her face begins to brighten and I can tell she really does want to get out of here, with Uriah.

"What? Where are you going?" she asks, clearly intrigued.

"A little initiation ritual." he says, offering her a hand. "Come on. We have to hurry." He pulls her to her feet and drags her along with him by the hand. They disappear around the corner and I can hear them talking about where they are going. I hear Uriah say something about something dangerous and I know exactly where he is taking her. Zip lining. I suddenly regret my decision not to go, completely forgetting my crippling fear of heights at the thought of Uriah spending the whole afternoon with Tris. A feeling of anger starts to build in my chest and I punch the wall next to me. Pain shoots up my arm and into my shoulder. I shake out my arm and continue towards the dorms knowing she won't be there.

[Page Break]

I sit in the dining hall that night at my usual table, alone. Everyone went zip lining. I see them start to file into the dining hall laughing and high-fiving each other. Tris looks absolutely mesmerizing. Her hair is wind swept and she is smiling brightly, her eyes sparkle with that wild look. She looks truly alive in this moment. _Beautiful. _

I see Shauna wave to her and Uriah puts his arm around her, squeezing her shoulders before he heads off to his normal table. I realize I am staring a little too hard at her and look down at my food as the rest of my group approaches, but Shauna catches me before I completely look down.

"Staring awfully hard at something, there Four." she says, with a knowing grin on her face.

"What? Its a little unusual for one of my initiates to be with you guys. I was just curious as to how she ended up with you guys, thats all." I say, trying to cover.

"Well if you must know, Uri brought her. I think he has a thing for her. Can't blame him, she is pretty and fearless. She went down the zip line with no hands. I'm surprised he is the only one that has noticed." she says, watching my face for a hint of expression. I do my best to keep a straight face, but my eyes flashed at her when she mentioned the part about Uriah having a thing for Tris and I know she caught it.

"Uri has a thing for who?" Zeke asks sitting next to me.

"The stiff," Shauna says, smiling at me, then looking up at Zeke.

"I kind of thought so on the train back from Capture the Flag the other night, he was flirting with her pretty hard. Then when he brought her with him tonight, I knew he must have a thing for her. They were kind of cute you know, teasing each other and stuff. Mom would like her, being a nice Abnegation girl and all, not like you Dauntless girls." He gives Shauna a look to indicate she is one of the Dauntless girls he is referring to. She leans over the table and punches him in the arm.

"You should have gone with us, Four. That way you could have seen for yourself how well your transfer fit in with her new Dauntless buddies." Shauna says, trying to get a rise out of me. I know what she is doing, trying to see if I will react to what she is telling me about Tris and Uriah. She has suspected I have feelings for Tris for a while now. I talked about her a little to freely at lunch one day and she said something then about me having a crush on Tris. I punched her in the arm hard, but I didn't admit anything. Not then, not now.

I just get up and throw away my plate, waving at them as I leave. I catch one last look at Tris, as I leave the dining hall. _Beautiful._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The initiates wait in the hall for their turn in the room. They all look nervous and they should be. There really is no amount of preparing that helps you live through your worst nightmares, and that is exactly what each of them is having to do. I slowly work through the initiates watching them be attacked by various animals, people, and other dark forces. I watch them fall off cliffs, shoot family members, drown, burn to death, and be stabbed. It is exhausting. I purposely put Tris last, knowing watching her struggle through her fear will be the hardest for me to watch.

Uriah comes in right before Tris. He sits down in the metal chair. I look at him and can't help the urge I have to punch him in the face. I force myself to continue, without saying anything about yesterday. I just turn back to the computer screen and ask if he has any questions about today. He shouldn't most of the Dauntless born have grown up hearing stories about what happens during stage two and three of training and the fear landscapes. I am sure Zeke told him all about it, after our initiation two years ago.

"Looks like you had fun zip lining yesterday. I saw Tris went with you guys." I say out of no where.

"It was epic man. You should have gone with us. She asked where you were." he says grinning at me. "Seemed a little disappointed that you didn't come, if you want to know the truth."

"Can't imagine why she would want her instructor to come zip lining with her." I say, trying to sound like I am making small talk, not really all that interested.

"Maybe she sees you as more than her instructor, Four. Stranger things have happened." Uriah watches my face, trying to see my reaction to his last comment.

I don't respond. I just pull out the injection needle and push it into Uriah's neck. "Be brave, Uriah."

Nine minutes later Uriah emerges from the simulation, sweating and yelling Zeke's name. He calms himself down and I send him out the door in the back of the room like the others. As he leaves, I start thinking about what he said before he went into the simulation. _Why would Tris ask about me, if she is with Uriah? Why would he bring it up if they are together?_ Maybe I have misread the situation between the two of them. I go to the door and call her name.

"Come on, Tris." I beckon her in the room. Touching her shoulder and leading her in, closing the door behind her.

She looks at the chair in the room and recoils as if it is going to bite her. She is clearly upset by seeing what is in the room, but I don't know why. The only other time she would have sat in a chair like this was during her aptitude test. She shouldn't have a reason to be frightened.

"Sit." I say, squeezing her around the arm forcing her forward.

"What's the simulation?" she says, her voice shaking.

"Ever hear the phrase 'face your fears'? We're taking that literally. The simulation will teach you to control your emotions in the midst of a frightening situation." I explain.

Tris touches her hand to her forehead to move her hair out of her face and I can't help but notice it is shaking. If she is this scared before the simulation starts, she will never make it through the actual fear. I have to calm down or this is all pointless. She can't scratch on today's times. She needs them to keep her ranking up. She is barely off the bottom of the list now.

"Do you ever administer the aptitude tests?" she asks. _Why would she ask about the aptitude test? Is she? No, she can't be. That would just add to the reasons she is in danger._ I push the thought from my mind.

"No," I reply. "I avoid Stiffs as much as possible." I add the last part thinking it might get her to stop asking so many questions. There are cameras in this room and if she is not careful she is going to start drawing attention to herself for all the wrong reasons. Dauntless don't like it when people ask to many questions. They see it as a challenge to their authority.

"Why?" she persists.

"Do you ask me that because you think I'll actually answer?" I snap at her.

"Why do you say vague things if you don't want to be asked about them?" she challenges, narrowing her eyes at me.

I can see that this is getting us nowhere. I have to start the simulation soon, before she gets us both in trouble. I move her hair to the side, brushing her neck with my fingertips. I feel a tingle every place her skin touches mine. I tap the syringe getting it ready to inject into her neck.

"An injection?" she says, her eyes wide. Maybe, she is afraid of needles.

"We use a more advanced version of the simulation here. A different serum. No wire or electrodes for you." I explain.

"How does it work without wires?"

"Well, I have wires, so I can see what's going on," I say. "But for you, there's a tiny transmitter in the serum that sends data to the computer." I bend down and ease the tip of the needle into the tender skin on the side of her neck. She grimaces as the serum spreads through her throat. I look at her, trying to calm her down. Her eyes are so beautiful. I would be staring at her, even if I wasn't trying to calm her.

"The serum will go into effect in sixty seconds. This simulation is different from the aptitude test," I say. "In addition to containing the transmitter, the serum stimulates the amygdala, which is the part of the brain involved in processing negative emotions—like fear—and then induces a hallucination. The brain's electrical activity is then transmitted to our computer, which then translates your hallucination into a simulated image that I can see and monitor. I will then forward the recording to Dauntless administrators. You stay in the hallucination until you calm down—that is, lower your heart rate and control your breathing."

I can tell that she is trying to follow what I am saying, but the serum is taking control and soon she will be lost in the hallucination. I lean down close to her face and look her directly in her eyes, making sure she is focused on me. "The first time is always the hardest. It will be over soon. Be brave, Tris." Then her pupils dilate and I know she is gone.

I look back at the screens. She is in a field and it looks like a flock of birds is coming towards her, attacking her. She struggles against them, but there are too many of them and soon I can't see her anymore. I look back at her laying on the metal chair. Her face is contorted in a silent scream and she jerks around like she is trapped in a dream. I want so badly to wake her, let her know that it isn't real. I look back at the screen and can see her vitals have picked up, her heart beat a blur on the screen. Then all of the sudden, it starts to slow and I can tell that she has found a way out. I hear her scream and turn around to see her brushing invisible feathers from her body. I turn and look at the screen, again.

_Three minutes. That can't be right. Shit._ I tell myself it is a fluke. She can't be, but if she is, it is just one more reason I have to protect her. I look over at her. She is shaking and looks like she might be sick. I reach my hand out and put it on her shoulder. She turns around to punch me, yelling at me not to touch her.

My voice is quiet, "Tris."

She doesn't look at me, just pulls her knees to her chest and begins to rock back and forth, tears flowing uncontrollably down her cheeks.

"Tris, I'm going to take you back to the dorms, alright?" I say.

"No," she says forcefully, through sobs. "No you can't...I don't need you to...They can't see my like this."

"Nonsense." I say, soothingly. "I will talk you out the backdoor. No one will see you. I promise."

I grab her under the arm and pull her out of the chair, forcing her out of the room. We walk in silence until we are about a hundred yards from the dorms. Then, she yanks her arm away from me and stops.

"Why did you do that to me? What did that prove? I wasn't aware when I signed up for Dauntless it meant weeks of torture." she looks at me blame and hate playing in her eyes. It is the same look she had, the day I threw knives at her.

"Did you think overcoming cowardice would be easy?" I say, calmly.

"That isn't overcoming cowardice! Cowardice is how you decide to be in real life, and in real life, I am not getting pecked to death by crows, Four!" She presses her palms to her face and sobs into them.

I don't say anything. I don't know what to say. I know she needs someone to comfort her and tell her things to make her feel safe and calm, but I don't know any of those things. Comfort wasn't in great supply during my childhood. So, I just stare down at her, helpless.

"I want to go home," she says, weakly.

I am suddenly angry at her. Angry at her weakness, at her cowardice. _She is better than this._ I am frustrated that she can't see it. I want to comfort her, but pitying her won't do her any favors right now. She has to be tougher, if she is going to make it through the next few stages.

"Learning how to think in the midst of fear, is a lesson that everyone, even your Stiff family, needs to learn. That's what we're trying to teach you. If you can't learn it, you'll need to get the hell out of here, because we won't want you."

She looks shocked at my words. "I'm trying." She says, her lower lip trembles. "But I failed. I'm failing."

I sigh. "How long do you think you spent in that hallucination, Tris?"

"I don't know." she shakes her head. "A half hour?"

"Three minutes," I reply. "You got out three times faster than the other initiates. Whatever you are, you're not a failure."

She looks at me in disbelief.

I smile a little, feeling like I was a little harsh on her after her comment about wanting to go home. "Tomorrow you'll be better at this. You'll see."

"Tomorrow?"

I touch her back and guide her toward the dormitory. I like the feeling of my hand on her back and she seems to like it, so I leave it there as we walk.

"What was your first hallucination?" she says, glancing up at me.

"It wasn't a 'what' so much as a 'who.'" I shrug. "It's not important."

"And are you over that fear now?"

"Not yet." We reach the door to the dormitory, and I lean against the wall, sliding my hands into my pockets to stop myself from wrapping them around her waist. "I may never be."

"So they don't go away?"

"Sometimes they do. And sometimes new fears replace them." My thumbs hook around my belt loops. "But becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it, that's the point."

She nods at me thinking about what I just said. I study her face for a moment, fascinated by the thoughts I can see behind her eyes.

"Anyway, your fears are rarely what they appear to be in the simulation," I add.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, are you really afraid of crows?" I say, half smiling at her. For a moment, I forget that I am her instructor and she is my initiate. I am just a boy talking to the girl her likes, as he walks her to her door. "When you see one, do you run away screaming?"

"No. I guess not." she says. She moves closer to me and leans against the wall. She tilts her head to the side, studying me, like she did on the Ferris wheel. I can feel her body heat. She is only about six inches from me, and I want that space to be smaller. I keep my thumbs hooked tight in my belt loops making sure my hands don't reach out and pull her to me.

As if she can read my mind, she leans in closer and says, "So what I am really afraid of?

"I don't know." I say looking at her, my whole body is tingling. "Only you can know."

She nods slowly, thinking it over, then she says, "I didn't know becoming Dauntless would be this difficult." Her eyes widen a little after she says it and she looks at me nervously, clearly regretting telling me.

"It wasn't always like this, I'm told," I say, lifting a shoulder. Letting her know that she can trust me. I don't think any less of her.

"What changed?" she asks.

"The leadership. The person who controls training sets the standard of Dauntless behavior. six years ago Max and the other leaders changed the training methods to make them more competitive and more brutal, said it was supposed to test people's strength. and that changed the priorities of Dauntless as a whole. Bet you can't guess who the leaders' new protégé is."

"The answer is obvious: Eric. They trained him to be vicious, and now he will train the rest of us to be vicious too." she says. She looks at me for a moment, and smiles at me. I hope she knows that I would never let that happen to her.

We continue to discuss Eric and leadership for a moment and I am waiting for her to ask me why I didn't take the leadership role, but she never does. She wouldn't feel right asking me personal questions, being from Abnegation. She would have been taught that personal questions are selfish, as the information only serves the person asking the question. She sniffs and wipes her face one more time. Then she smooths down her hair. Even when she is crying, she is beautiful. I stare at her, I can't help myself. Looking at her, makes me feel, alive, more awake.

"Do I look like I've been crying?" she says, her eyes shining up at me. It takes everything I have not to pull her to me and kiss her.

"Hmm." I lean in as close to her as possible. I narrow my eyes like I am inspecting her face. A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. We would be breathing the same air, but I notice Tris has stopped breathing. "No, Tris." I give her a serious look and add, "You look tough as nails."


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Thanks so much for all the reviews. If you leave me a signed review, I will respond. This is one of my favorite moments in all three books. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or any of its related content or characters. Copyright of Divergent is property of Veronica Roth.**

Chapter 12

I meet Zeke and a few other guys after dinner, in the Pit. I see the cooler of beer, as I walk up. Zeke has one in his hand, and holds it up like he is toasting me. He takes another one from the cooler and offers it to me. Normally, I would say no, but it has been a long day of watching other people's nightmares. I take the beer from his hand and take a larger then necessary drink out of it. Zeke slaps me on the back and a few others join us.

We all walk over to the chasm and stand against the railings. An older Dauntless, Mark, grabs Lauren and throws her over his shoulder. She shrieks with laughter telling him not to drop her. He acts like he is going to, for a moment, and then puts her safely back down. She punches him in the arm, and he grabs her, tickling her until she begs for mercy. Then, he kisses her. She doesn't seem to mind, wrapping her hands around his waist, kissing him back. Pretty soon, he leans down and whispers something in her ear. She bites her bottom lip and nods. They walk off, not bothering to tell the rest of us bye.

I look at the water rushing over the ledge into the chasm. I wonder what it would be like to do that to Tris. I wish initiation was over, so I could find out. But then again, I don't even know if she wants me to. I take another swig from the bottle in my hand. What is this my third? I don't think I am drunk yet, but I do seem much more relaxed than usual. Maybe thats a good thing. I need to be young every now and then. I have been taking care of myself for so long. Sometimes, I forget I am only eighteen.

"Hey Four, what are you thinking so hard about over there?" Shauna's voice is light and giddy. She is clearly drunk. "It wouldn't be a certain stiff would it?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." I say, smiling a little.

"Well don't look now, but she and her buddies are headed this way. Why don't you go talk to her?" She says, hiccuping, before wandering off to find Zeke, no doubt.

I look up and see Tris, Al, Will, and Christina walk into the Pit. I feel the overwhelming need to talk to her again. Today, in the hall, was so nice. She finally saw me, the _real_ me, not just Four, her instructor. I raise my hand and wave to her, calling her over, "Tris!"

She stops, but the other don't notice. Good, maybe they will leave and she will have to hang out with me. I walk over to her. She looks different. She is wearing something dark around her eyes that make them stand out even more than usual. She has on a low cut shirt and I can see her tattoo. I never noticed that she had a tattoo.

"You look different." I say, my words a little more sluggish than they should be. I mean it though, she does look different. She is always beautiful, but tonight she is something else. Something I can't quite put my finger on. I stare her up and down for a moment. Then it comes to me. _Sexy._ Tris looks sexy tonight.

"So do you," she says, smiling a little. "What are you doing?"

"Flirting with death," I reply with a laugh. She gives me concerned look. Clearly, she didn't see the humor in it. "Drinking near the chasm. Probably, not a good idea."

"No it isn't." she states.

"Didn't know you had a tattoo." I say looking at the birds on her collar bone. I hold my hand up, pointing at them, I stop myself from touching them. I want to touch her. To feel the tingling of my fingertips on her skin. She looks at my hand and I shove it to my head, running it through my hair to try to cover my true intentions.

"Right. The crows." I say, quickly. _Smooth. Real smooth._

I look back over my shoulder, at my group. They are carrying on without me, but I notice Tris's friends have stopped and are staring at us. I can't blame them, there are four of them and I am only talking to her. I suddenly become very self-conscious and know that she is probably wondering the same thing.

"I would ask you to hang out with us, but you are not supposed to see me this way." I say. Its not true, but I don't really feel like either of us having to explain why we suddenly started hanging out together.

"What way? Drunk?" she asks. A small grin tugging at her mouth. She bites her bottom lip, and looks in my eyes. I go brain dead for a second, picturing me kissing her, like Mark kissed Lauren. She said something to me. What was it?

"Yeah," I answer, more out of reflex, than actual thought. _Wait, thats not right. She is going to think I am drunk. I'm not drunk._ I don't want her to think the only reason I am talking to her is because I am drunk. I look down, trying to hide my embarrassment. "Well, no. Real, I guess."

I look into her eyes for moment, and she looks back into mine. "I'll pretend I didn't."

"Nice of you." I say, then I lean down close, my lips right next to her ear, and say, "You look good, Tris."

She laughs and says, "Do me a favor and stay away from the chasm, okay?"

"Of course." I say, winking at her. She smiles brightly back at me and I turn to walk back to my friends. When I get back to my group, I turn around and see Al run up and throw Tris over his shoulder. She shrieks with laughter and he starts running towards the tunnel to the dorms. Tris looks up at me and waves from over Al's shoulder. I wave back at her, part of me wishing it was me carrying her away.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Thank you for the reviews and sorry it has taken me a few days to update. I have been working on my other story ****Becoming Ten.**** Check it out if you haven't read it. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: copyright of ****Divergent**** and its characters are the property of Veronica Roth.**

Chapter 13

My head throbs as I lead Uriah from the room. I shouldn't have drank last night. I still have three initiates to go before we are done today. Uriah did well today, but something was off while he was under. Nothing anyone else would notice, but I watch these simulations all day. I know he is divergent, but he must know it too. He started to manipulate the simulation, but stopped and worked through it the way a Dauntless would. _Smart._ His time is still one of the fastest, but not fast enough to have people looking into it.

I go to the door and call the next initiate, then turn and walk back into the room sitting at the computer with my back to the door. I didn't really pay attention to who I called, focusing more on the growing pain in my head. I don't even realize its Tris, until she is sitting in front of me. She is breathing in and out, slowly. I can tell she is nervous.

"It's just a simulation, Tris," I say, quietly. I can tell she doesn't believe me. She goes to bite her nails, but takes her hand away. I can see that they are already bitten raw. I wish I could tell her its not real. There is nothing to be afraid of, but I can't. I already let too much slip last night. I have to be more careful, or people will start to get suspicious.

She closes her eyes and nods at me, as if she believes me. I know she doesn't, I wouldn't believe me either. I plunge the needle into her neck, and whisper, "Be brave, Tris."

Her pupils dilate and her eyes shift over things only her mind can see. I hear her pulse speed up on the monitor and can tell she is already starting to panic. Not a good sign. I turn to the computer screen to see what she is facing.

She is in some kind of glass box. I see myself walk up and tap on the glass pointing down at her feet. There is water starting to fill the box. She looks around trying to find the source of the water. She doesn't find it and begins to scream for help. I look back over at her lying on the metal chair. Her mouth is frozen in a silent scream and her face is terrified. I watch her for a moment, her limbs jerking and her face tensing. I look back at the screen and see that she is floating in the box, gasping for air as her face presses against the ceiling. I don't think she will be able to find a way out of this one. She will drown before the simulation lets her out. I continue to watch the screen knowing what is coming.

I see her slap at the glass and try to kick at it, to no avail. _Just let go Tris, give over to the inevitable and the simulation will end._ She tries to scream and water fills her mouth. She pauses a minute and I see a spike in her brain wave activity. That can't be right. If she was aware, she would have stopped it by now. Then I see it again. I look over at her. She is still lying in the metal chair, but her face is no longer tense, and she mouths something silently.

I look back at the screen as she presses her palm to the glass. I see it crack. That isn't possible. She slams her other hand into it and it cracks again. Then I see her foot smash into it and the glass shatters completely, water rushing out of the box to the floor. I spin around so fast I think I might be sick. She sits up gasping for air. I look back at the screen two minutes, forty five seconds. _This is not happening._

I stand up and walk over to her. I stare down at her for a minute, you would never guess it to look at her. I was praying it wasn't true. She stares back at me.

"What?" she asks.

"How did you do that?" I demand.

"Do what?" she asks, innocently.

"Crack the glass." I say, annoyed that she is trying to play innocent.

"I don't know." she says.

I offer her my hand and she swings her legs over the edge of the chair, hopping to to the ground. She looks steady, and calm. Maybe she really doesn't realize how stupid it was to do that. They will know if I send them the footage. Then they will kill her, just like they killed Amar. I sigh out of frustration. I grab her by the elbow and forcefully lead her out of the room and down the hallway. I am slightly dragging her, because my legs are so much longer than hers. She stops and pulls her arm away from me. I just stare at her in silence. If she wants answers, she is going to have to ask.

"What?" she demands.

"You're Divergent." I reply. I stare at her, watching her face for a reaction. Her eyes flash with fear and I can see her breathing quicken, but only for a moment. She regains her composure and leans back against the wall, trying to look casual. _Good girl, Tris. Don't give yourself away._

"What's Divergent?" she asks, shrugging, like she has never heard the term before. But, I know she knows. Her eyes gave her away a moment ago. Does she know how much she says with her eyes? Or, am I the only one that pays enough attention to notice?

"Don't play stupid. I suspected it last time, but this time it was obvious. You manipulated the simulation; you're Divergent. I'll delete the footage, but unless you want to wind up dead at the bottom of the chasm, you'll figure out how to hide it during the simulations! Now, if you'll excuse me." I half yell the last part at her in my best instructor voice, hoping she will get the full weight of my warning. I walk back into the simulation room and slam the door. I can help her this one time. Footage gets erased by accident all the time, they won't suspect anything.

I go over to the computer and delete the footage from her simulation. Then, I manually enter a time of four minutes. It is close enough to her last time not to draw attention, but still fast enough not to hurt her ranking. I take a deep breath when I am finished, trying to calm myself down before the next initiate. My head throbs and I feel sick to my stomach. The anxiety over her safety mixes with the hangover from last night and I run over to the small sink and vomit. I expect to feel better, but I don't. I can't until I figure out a way to keep her safe. I go out the back door and knock on the door next to me. Zeke comes out and agrees to take my last two initiates. I tell him I am sick from last night, and I think he feels guilty.

I walk as fast as I can back to my apartment. I feel shaky and weak. This is the most panicked I've felt since I was still in Abnegation. I slam the door behind me and run for the bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet before I wretch again. I walk over to the sink and splash cold water on my face, telling myself to get it together. I rinse my mouth out and lie down on my bed. My head feels like it is going to split in two. I close my eyes and lay my arm over my face trying to block out the light. _What am I going to do?_


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Over the next four days, I watch her be tied to a stake and lit on fire by Peter, almost drown in an ocean, watch her family bleed to death in front of her, and watch her be forced to shoot them. She comes in today looking exhausted, but no longer afraid. It is a good sign. She also hasn't tried to manipulate the simulation again, which makes me think she took my warning to heart. This helps me relax a little.

I stand leaning against the counter of the small sink, the cabinets with the serum and syringes behind my head, watching her. I can see the computer screen from where I stand and can tell it is the same fear from yesterday. She shoots her family and sits up shaking a little.

"I know the simulation isn't real, but it still feels real when I have to shoot them." she says, looking at me.

"I know it does. It is supposed to, that is how it is designed. You don't have to explain it to me." I say, trying to comfort her the best way I know how. It is obvious how much she loves her family, the guilt she faces over having to hurt them, even in a simulation, is overwhelming to her. She shakes her head at me and looks down. I want to go over and wrap her in my arms. I remind myself that there are cameras in this room, and Eric is watching those cameras. I keep my arms firmly crossed and will my feet to stay put.

"Its the only time I get to see them...and...I miss them. Do you ever just miss your family?" she asks, looking up at me once more.

"No." My answer is too quick, and comes too easily. She is going to ask questions if I don't stop her. She is too curious for her own good. I wonder if she had an aptitude for Erudite? "But, I'm not normal. Most people miss their family, that's normal. It will get easier the longer you are away from them."

She stands and nods at me. I can see her thinking about what I said. She goes to turn the knob to leave the room and pauses, staring back at me. I stare back at her, and the moment goes on too long. Her eyes are searching me, like she is trying to send me a message with her mind. I get lost in her eyes. I forget where we are for a moment and my mind plays back the scene from the hallway the first day of phase two. I start to move closer to her, wanting to breath her in again. As soon as I step forward, she turns and leaves, closing the door quickly behind her. Just one more week and initiation will be over. One more week and I don't have to hide my feelings for her.

She was my last simulation for the day. I enter her results, two minutes and thirsty seven seconds. I don't think much about it, after all it doesn't take very long to squeeze the trigger of a gun. Then I head down to the cafeteria. I sit down, still distracted by her eyes. I don't really pay attention to anything anyone is saying, until I hear Uriah's voice behind me.

"Zeke, Eric just posted the results for phase two. I'm in second place overall." he says, pride and excitement clearly showing in his voice.

"What do you mean your second? Not that it's not great and all, but who beat you?" Zeke asks.

"Tris. Her average time was 2:45. I didn't think that was humanly possible. That girl is truly fearless." he says.

I turn around, out of reflex, when I hear her name. Zeke and Uriah notice and both grin at me. "Eric already posted the results? That asshole was supposed to wait on me." I say, trying to cover my sudden interest in their conversation.

"You sure that is the only thing you wanted to add to this conversation? Nothing about how happy you are that a certain stiff is at the top?" Zeke raises an eyebrow at me.

"Just give it up, Four. It is obvious to everyone, but her, how much you like her." Uriah adds.

"You two are seeing things that aren't there. She is just another one of the transfers. I watch them all like that, its sort of my job." I say, rolling my eyes.

They sit down on either side of me and give each other a knowing look, quirking their eyebrows and grinning at each other. I suddenly feel nervous. I have never been a fan of their plans. They never seem to work out and I am usually the one left to clean up the mess or talk us out of trouble.

"What?" I groan.

"We could help you know, help you get her to notice you." Zeke says.

Shauna walks up and sits down with us. This situation is getting more awkward by the second. "Help with what?" she asks.

"Four's love life." Zeke responds, seriously.

"Ooh, are you finally going to ask the stiff out? I think you two would be cute together." she says.

"She has a name you know. Its Tris. And, _if_ I decide to ask Tris out, I don't need you guys to plan it out for me. But, I am not going to ask her out because I am her instructor and she is my initiate. I only see her as that, not to mention even if I did see her as more, it would be inappropriate." I say flustered by their meddling.

"Who you trying to convince, Four? Us or you?" Shauna shoots back.

"Fine. It is clearly pointless to argue with you, so what is this brilliant plan?"

"Well, her transfer buddies are not very happy with her for beating all of them. Notice that she is not eating with them right now. I think I know where she is. I will get Marlene and Lynn and take her to the training room to shoot the pellet guns. I'll tell her we are just going to go have some fun." Uriah smiles.

"That's great and all Uriah, but where do I come in?" I say.

Zeke grins and speaks up. "You, Lauren and I will go and catch them messing around in the training room. We will say that we were coming in to do some target practice and yell at them."

"I still don't understand how me yelling at her and her friends is going to help? Won't it do the opposite of what you are trying to do?"

"When she goes to leave stop her Four. Tell her your happy she is here, or that you are proud of her ranking. Just something to make her feel special and wanted. Like she fits here, like she fits with you." Shauna finishes, smiling at me.

"You guys are idiots and even if I wanted this to work, which I don't, this is not the plan I would have picked." I say.

"So is that a yes?" Uriah asks.

"Whatever." I say, shaking my head and rolling my eyes.

"Sweet!" Uriah walks back over to Marlene and Lynn, daring Marlene to let him shoot a muffin off the top of her head. She giggles and Lynn agrees to come as a witness. I see them leave to go get Tris.

We wait ten minutes like Uriah told us to. Then the three of us head up to the training room. We hear the sound of the pellet guns and barge through the door.

"Thought I heard gun fire in here. What do you guys think you are doing?" Zeke asks Uriah.

Uriah grins at him and then at me. Marlene and Lynn are still giggling, but Tris stands there frozen, staring at me. I stare back at her, I forget everyone else is in the room. My heartbeat quickens and my mouth goes dry. I hear Zeke saying something about me to Uriah.

"You wouldn't tell on us, would you, Four?" Lynn says, eyeing me suspiciously.

"No, I wouldn't." I reply as Uriah scoots Lynn and Marlene out the door. Tris trails behind them as planned. I place my hand on Tris's back ushering her towards the door. I am trying to think of something to say to her, but my mind is blank. I start to get nervous, trying to think of something, anything to say to her. She steps into the hallway.

"Wait a second," I say. She pauses, and the others walk on a head of her. I say the first thing that pops into my mind. "You belong here. You know that? You belong here with us. It will be over soon. Just hold on, ok?" I smile at her hoping that she got my message. That she doesn't just belong here in Dauntless, but that she belongs here with me.

She looks into my eyes curiously, and then grabs my hand, lacing her fingers with mine. We stay that way for a moment, me looking down at her, her looking up at me. It feels like there is an electric current running through my hand into hers and back again. A wide smile stretches across her face and I smile widely back at her. Then, as suddenly as she grabbed my hand, she lets go, turning and running down the hall to catch up with the others.

I hear Zeke yell 'Get some!' from behind me and Shauna starts to laugh. I don't turn around. I don't want to share my happiness with them. I don't want to admit they were right.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews, faves, and follows, and the continued support. I hope you enjoy the next chapter. School is almost out for summer and I should be able to update more frequently. Please continue to leave reviews. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or any of its characters. **

Chapter 15

I am on my way back from the control room when I hear a commotion. I don't think that much about it, probably just some drunks fighting in the pit. I walk past the dorms, my mind is on her. I have thought about her all night. I told myself I went to the control room to make sure the files from today's simulations were saved properly. Really, I was making sure Eric had not flagged her file. He didn't question me about it when he saw us coming back from the training room, but I don't want any surprises for me or her.

I stop outside the door to the dorms, it is slightly open, and light from the hallway streams in the room. I shouldn't stop. I shouldn't be checking on her, but I can't help myself. I want to see her face again, even if just for a moment. I think about her small hand laced with mine, the way her face light up when she smiled at me. My insides tingle and I feel a warmth spread over me. Just thinking about her, makes me smile. I feel less nervous, the thought of her calming me.

I step in and peak my head through the door. I find Christina sleeping peacefully on the top bunk. I look down, expecting to see Tris. Her bunk is empty. The calm feeling I had a moment ago vanishes. The rankings. She was ranked first. I immediately look at Peter's bunk. It is also empty. The chasm. I don't think, I just run. It was him. The commotion was him and he has her. Then I hear her scream.

I turn the corner, coming out of the tunnel that leads to the dorms. That's when I see him. But it's not just him. There are three of them. One of them has her holding her over the railing. I can't see what they are doing to her, but I know what they plan to do next. I hear one of them yell out in pain and Tris falls to the ground. I see Drew raise his hand smashing it into her face. She falls over and he kicks her hard in the ribs.

"Get away from her!" I yell, running towards them so fast, they don't have time to react. One of them runs away, I see the back of his head, and his lumbering gate. _Al_. I can't believe he would do this to her. She trusted him. I want to run after him, so I can drag him back here and beat him senseless, but I don't have time for that right now.

Drew sees me coming and swings at me, his fist colliding with my face. I barely notice it, adrenaline coursing through me like a drug. I elbow him hard to the side of the head and bring my knee up to meet him as he falls. I hear sickening crack and he goes down. I begin kicking him. I keep kicking until I know he won't get back up. He may be dead, but I don't care. He tried to kill her, so I gave him what he deserved. I turn around and Peter has Tris suspended in the air, holding her over the chasm by the throat. She is kicking at him furiously, her legs too short to reach him.

"Drop her, or I'll kill you." I command him.

He lets go of her and I see her fall. He turns to run. I don't look to see where he goes. I just stare at her as she falls. My heart stops beating and my breath catches in my throat. It feels like everything is in slow motion. _Oh God! No. Please, no._ At the last second her arms slam into the railing and she wraps her elbows around it. I run to the railing. Tris's eyes are narrowed, like she is trying to focus. I stare into them, trying to let her know she is safe.

"Four," she croaks. I can tell she is barely hanging on. I pull her back over the rail, wrapping her in my arms. She presses her head into my shoulder and I feel her body go limp. I can feel her chest rising up and down against my mine, so I know she is alive. I don't want to take her to the infirmary. I don't want her in the same room with them. I take her to the only place I know she will be safe. my apartment.

I lay her gently on the bed, covering her up with the quilt. Her clothes are ripped and some her skin is exposed. I know she would feel better being completely covered, modesty is a big thing in Abnegation. I look back down at her, and without thinking, I lean down and brush my lips to her hair. _I'll fight for you. I will always be there to protect you._

I don't want to leave her here, in a strange place alone, but I have to go take care of Drew. I won't be gone long, and more than likely she will be out for a while. She took quite the beating tonight. I decide on the way there that if Drew is still breathing I will take him to the infirmary and say I found him that way. If he is not, I'll throw his body over the railing and act surprised with everyone else when they pull his body out tomorrow. I take my time getting there. Option number two is sounding like the better choice at the moment.

When I reach Drew he is still breathing, but barely. I hoist him over my shoulder and am not careful when I slam him down on the bed in the infirmary. As soon as I am relieved of him, I go back up to my apartment. Tris is still out when I get there. Her breathing is stronger now, more even. I go into the bathroom to wash my hands. Carefully scrubbing the blood from under my nails. I dry my hands and look over at Tris. She is awake. I see her eyes shining at me. I turn off the light and go over to the refrigerator, getting a nice pack for her head.

"Your hands," she croaks, as I walk towards her. Always the selfless Abnegation. _She nearly dies and she is checking on me._

"My hands are none of your concern," I reply. I lean over her, slipping the ice pack under her head. She reaches up and touches the side of my lip where Drew punched me. I feel a jolt of electricity where her skin connects with mine. "Tris, I'm all right." I reassure her, my lips pressed against her fingers as I speak. _Is she just being Abnegation right now? Or is this something more?_ I hope it is something more.

"Why were you there?" She asks. Her hand drops to the bed and I want it back.

_Because, I was checking on you. Because I was worried about you. Because all I think about is you and keeping you safe._ That's what I want to say, but I don't. "I was coming back from the control room. I heard a scream."

"What did you do to them?" She says.

"I deposited Drew at the infirmary a half hour ago," I say. "Peter and Al ran."

"Drew's in bad shape?" She asks, but there is not concern in her voice. It is something else, vindication.

"He'll live. In what condition, I can't say." I reply, bitterness in my voice. She reaches out and sqeezes my arm. I feel triumph burning through me.

"Good." She says. Her faces contorts in anger and then she tenses her muscles, before she begins to cry.

I crouch down beside the bed. I study her face, she isn't crying because she is some weak little girl. These are angry tears. She is crying because she wants to lash out at them and can't. She is so strong. So beautiful. So Dauntless.

I pull my wrist free from her hand and reach down and touch her face, my thumb skimming the bruise that is starting to purple on her cheek where Drew hit her. I am careful and light with my touch, I don't want to hurt her. "I could report this."

"No" she says firmly. "I don't want them to think I am scared."

"Figured you would say that." I say. She starts to sit up and I see her wince in pain. She tries to hide a groan. "I'll help you."

I grab her shoulder and support her head with my hand. She pushes herself up and I hand her the ice pack. She is fighting back tears and bites down hard on her lip to keep from crying out. She is trying to be brave in front of me. She doesn't have to be. Not here. I want her to know that she can be herself around me. She doesn't have to prove herself. I already see the real her.

"You can let yourself be in pain. Its just me here." I tell her. She bites down on her lip again, but this time it is to stop it from trembling as tears slowly fall down her face. I want to reach up and brush them from her cheeks. But, I know that will make her feel weak, like I pitty her. I don't pity her. I am amazed by how fierce she is. She is unlike anyone I have ever met. I know the best way for her to protect herself right now is to appear weak. She isn't going to like what I have to say next, but it is the best plan for now.

"I suggest you rely on your friends to protect you from now on." my voice serious, and hard

Her face falls and she stares into the room, her voice is quiet, "I thought I was...but Al,"

"He wanted you to be the small, quiet girl from Abnegation," I say softly, not wanting her to think I am lecturing her. I am not trying to be her instructor right now. I want her to see that I truly do care for her. "He hurt you because your strength made him feel weak. No other reason. The others won't be as jealous if you show some vulnerability. Even if it isn't real." I added the last part, just to make sure she knows I don't see her as weak.

"You think I have to pretend to be vulnerable?" she asks, raising her eyebrow at me, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

"Yes, I do." I take the ice pack from her and hold it to her head. She puts her arm down and relaxes, finally able to let her guard down with me. She is beautiful, even beaten and bruised. _They didn't break her. They can't break her._ She closes her eyes thinking about what I have just said. In this moment, all I want to do is kiss her. I stand up and face the wall to stop myself. This isn't the time, she has been through too much tonight.

"You're going to want to march into breakfast tomorrow and show your attackers they had no effect on you," I say, my back to her, "but you should let that bruise on your cheek show, and keep your head down."

I turn around to see her reaction. Her head is looking down and I can tell from the look on her face the idea makes her sick.

"I don't think I can do that," her voice is hollow. She looks up at me. I can tell by her eyes there is something else, something she isn't telling me.

"You have to." I say sternly.

"I don't think you get it." She pauses and I see anger mixed with fear and embarrasement building on her face. "They touched me."

My whole body stifens. I feel like someone has just punhed me in the stomach. My fist tightens around the ice pack. _Touched her, they touched her. I will kill them._

"Touched you." I repeat in low angry voice.

"Not...in the way you're thinking." she clears her throat, "But...almost."

She looks away and I can see fresh tears falling down her cheeks. I want to run over to her and pull her into my arms, holding her and letting her know that she is safe. I can't imagine how hard having them touch her must have been. Abnegation consider any physical contact highly intimate, even just holding hands. How dare they take that from her. How dare they defile her body that way. I start thinking about them touching her, hurting her. I am consumed by rage. I stare down at her. I don't say anything for a long time. I don't know what to say. All I can think about is keeping her safe. I will never let this happen again. As long as I am alive, I will keep her safe.

"What is it?" she asks, watching me staring at her, lost in my own thoughts.

"I don't want to say this, but I feel like I have to. It is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?" My face is tense and serious, my eyebrows drawn low over my eyes, my lips pressed into a hard line. She nods at me and I continue, "But, please, when you see an opportunity," I press my hand to her cheek and tilt her head up so she is looking directly into my eyes. "Ruin them."

"You're a little scary sometimes Four." she says with a nervous laugh. I cringe a little when she calls me Four. It reminds me that I am her instructor, I don't want her to see me as that anymore. I am done waiting for the timing for us to be right to be together. I make the decision right then to tell her who I am really am.

"Do me a favor, don't call me that." I say.

"Then what should I call you?" she looks at me curiously,

"Nothing...yet." I say.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews and for continuing to read. I hope you enjoy it!**

Chapter 16

I awake on the floor and see Tris sleeping soundly in my bed. Her face has purpled overnight and there is a cut above her lip. I stand there watching her sleep for a moment, before going in the bathroom to shower. I take my clothes with me, in case she is awake when I finish. I don't want to make her uncomfortable. It's a good thing I did, because she is awake and looking at me as I walk out of the bathroom, drying my hair with the towel in my hand. I like the way it makes me feel to see her here with me. It's like she fits, somehow. lt makes more relaxed.

Her eyes meet mine and she gives me a small smile. I smile back and walk towards her. I touch the bruise on her cheek gently. I can feel a knot under the skin and see it is changing from purple to dark blue. It looks awful and I know over the next few days it will get worse. But I don't want her to worry, so I try to make it sound better than it is.

"Not bad. How's your head?" I say.

"Fine." She says. I know she is lying. She touches the bump on the back of her head gingerly and I see her wince as her fingers slide over it. She quickly moves her hand away from her head and places at her side. I reach down wanting to grab her hand, but think twice about it and touch her side where she was kicked, instead. Every muscle in her body tenses, and she holds her breath.

"And your side?" I ask.

"Only hurts when I breath." She replies, sarcastically. Her sharp wit showing again.

I can't help myself and I chuckle at her response. "Not much you can do about that."

She says something about how Peter would throw a party if she quit breathing. I tell her I would only go if there was cake. She laughs and her eyes light up. I try to think of something else to say to keep our banter going, wanting to see her laugh again. She is even more beautiful when she laughs, if that's even possible.

I lead her out of my apartment, reluctantly. She doesn't seem like she wants to leave either. I wish we could stay here forever. I feel an easiness with her that I have never felt with anyone. I wonder if she feels the same way with me. We walk in silence most of the way. That's another thing I like about her. She doesn't feel the need to be loud or talk just to talk, like the other Dauntless. It reminds me of the order and quiet of Abnegation streets. I wonder if we would have found each other if we had both stayed in Abnegation. Tris doesn't even know that's where I am from.

I stop a few feet from the dining hall. "I'll go in first and then you follow. Remember what I said, ok?"

She nods at me, but refuses to meet my eyes. I take her chin and bring it up, forcing her to look at me. I know she is scared and I don't want her to feel alone.

"See you soon." I say, trying to remind her I will only be a few feet away.

She gives me a weak smile and nods against my fingers. I stop myself from leaning in and kissing her. I shove my hands in my pockets and walk into the dining hall. I sit down at my usual table, positioning myself so I can see her. She walks in and is leaning on the wall for support, her head is down and her hand is pressed over her forehead, shielding her from the eyes that have turned to look at her. _If this is an act, it is a good one._ But something in me knows, this isn't an act. In this moment, she does feel weak and scared. I want to run over and save her. I, too, feel weak for not being able to protect her from this.

"What the hell happened to her?" Zeke asks, pointing a finger at Tris. I don't respond. I just keep watching her.

Lauren looks up and gasps. Then she looks at me and starts to say something. She must see the look on my face, because she just looks back at Zeke and shakes her head in disbelief.

"Four are you sure she is up to this today?" Lauren finally says.

"She'll be fine. She can take it." I snap. I don't want to discuss it, or her, with them or anyone. I have to seem distant, cold to it all, or I will give too much away. I can't risk putting her in anymore danger.

Tris makes her way slowly to the table and Christina reacts in horror. I can see she is telling her friends what happened last night. Uriah puts his arm around her and I feel jealousy start to build inside me. He glares at Peter and says something to her. I remind myself he is just trying to protect her. It is a good thing she has him and the others. I look over and Peter is watching her. I want to go over and finish the job I started last night. I look back to her and her eyes find mine. I stare at her trying to let her know she is safe. Drew shuffles in, looking like he has been hit by a bus. I laugh a little. _He's lucky he can walk at all._

I finish my food and go to the initiates tables. I tell them we will be doing something different today. I hear Uriah tell Tris to be careful and Will tells him not to worry that they will protect her. It makes me feel better that she has them. I lead them through the underground compound into the Pire and then head up the ladder towards the fear landscape room. Even though I am afraid of heights, I climb backwards facing the initiates. I don't want to take my eyes off her for a second. I want to make sure she is keeping up ok and that he is far away from her. I see her stumble slightly and Will holds out his arm. She takes it and continues to climb. I feel the jealousy rise in me again as soon as I see her hand on him. She sees my face and immediately let's go. I must not be hiding my feelings as well as I thought. I harden my face once more and step up onto the floor that houses the fear landscape. I enter the room and the transfers all follow me, gathering around me when I stop. I see Lauren join us from the observation room and I start my explanation.

"This is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape. It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like the next time you go through it. Through out your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have all your wits about you as you go through it." I pause letting what I told them sink in. I scan their faces to gauge their reactions. Most look nervous, even a little scared. I don't blame them, they did just learn that they were going to be forced to live through all of their worst nightmares at one time. I continue, knowing what they will ask next.

"The number of fears you have in your landscape varies according to how many fears you have. I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation. That is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body—to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one with the emotional mastery you learned in stage two. To keep a level head." I stop scanning their faces and focus my gaze on her. I want to make sure she is paying attention to this last part.

"Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just as stage two of initiation is weighted more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understood?" I see her eyes light up understanding what I told her. This is her chance to make sure she is Dauntless, that she is here with me. I breath a little more easily and finish the last part.

"You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move on. One way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example." I shrug. " So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies to face them."

All of the initiates are nodding to show that they understand what I have just told them. All of them, that is, except Peter. He glares at me and crosses his arms. It is a challenge and he is foolish to have issued it. _I dare you. I fucking dare you, you little shit._

"That doesn't sound fair," says Peter. "What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not their fault." I stare at him for a few seconds and then laugh. "Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?"

I stalk towards him, a malicious grin on my face. My eyes flash dangerously at him and I see his face falter, looking scared, but only for a second before he hardens it yet again. I will make sure that everyone here knows who is responsible for Tris's condition and who is responsible for Drew's.

When I am inches from his face, I stop and pull myself up to my full height, towering over him by several inches. In a deadly voice, I say "I understand why you're worried, Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward."

Peter stares back, expressionless.

"So now we all know," I continue quietly, "that _you_ are afraid of a short, skinny girl from Abnegation." My mouth curls into a smile. I know I look a little crazy and that is exactly what I want him to think. I want him to know that if he even thinks about touching her again I will kill him and I will enjoy doing it.

I turn to walk back to my original position. Will has his arm around Tris and is giving Peter a deadly glare. Christina is trying not to laugh at Peter's humiliation. I fight hard to keep my face even, when I notice Tris is smiling. She knows I did it just for her.


	17. Chapter 17

AN: Thank you for reading and thank you for all the reviews, faves, and follows. Happy Reading!

Chapter 17

I am on my way back from the control room when I see Lauren. I had fallen asleep there last night I was determined to keep an eye on Tris, just in case Peter tried anything stupid. Her face is ashen and I know something bad has happened. I open my mouth to ask her, but before I get a word out she tells me.

"One of the transfers jumped last night. They found him in the Chasm this morning. It was Al."

I had guessed the name before she told me. I knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself after what he did to Tris. I had heard him telling the others to stop the other night as I ran up to them.

"When is the funeral?" I ask.

"In a few hours. The initiates already know, Tris and Christina were there when they pulled him out. I'm sure they told everyone by now." She finishes.

"Thanks." I say and continue walking. I need to go to my apartment and shower. I need to at least appear that I care, even though I don't. All I can think about is Tris. She will blame herself for this and it's not her fault. This would have happened eventually. She us not responsible for his choices.

When I am dressed, I head down to the pit. It is a chaos of drunk dauntless. I think about my mothers funeral in Abnegation, how somber and quiet it was. People gently giving me their respects over her passing, my father acting stricken with grief as if he cared. I get to the floor and start looking for Tris. She is standing with some of the others. I look at her face trying to decipher her reactions. Christina is crying and Will has his arm wrapped around her. Uriah is standing on the other side of Will sipping from a brown bottle. Tris is on the other side of Christina. She is staring blankly into space. She doesn't look sad or angry, she looks like she doesn't feel anything at all. I recognize this look. It was plastered on my face for days after my mother died. She is in shock.

Eric begins his speech and Tris's face changes from blank to angry. I feel the same way, knowing what he did to her. I don't want hear how brave Al was either, because it is a damn lie and no one will ever know because it's not right to speak ill of the dead. The Dauntless crowd starts to chant Al's name and I see her turn and walk away from the others. She is shaking her head and her hands are balled into fists. I am on the other side of the pit and I press my way through the crowd trying to get to her. I see her head up to one of the upper levels and disappear down a hallway. I know where she is going. Its her quiet place. I should probably tell her that it is right under one of the main security cameras. She may not like her most private moments being seen by everyone in the control room.

I see her at the end of the hallway, the blue light from the security camera illuminating her form. She is shaking her head and pacing back and forth slightly. I can see her lips move, silently talking it over in her mind. I walk up to her quietly and when I am close enough that I can stop her if she tries to walk away I say her name.

"Tris."

She jumps in surprise and turns around. For a moment, I thought she was going to take a swing at me, but she relaxes as soon as she sees its me.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be paying your respects?" She makes a face like the words taste bitter in her mouth.

"Shouldn't you?" I respond, taking a step towards her. Her eyes meet mine and I feel a jolt of electricity go through me.

"Can't pay respect when you don't have any," she says tersely, an angry look on her face. The look changes form anger to guilt almost as soon as the words have left her mouth. "I didn't mean that." she says quietly.

I give her a look to let her know I don't believe her. But I don't chastise her for her remark. I feel the exact same way she does. Why pretend to respect a person that doesn't deserve it. She looks back at me reading the look on my face and begins to blush.

"This is ridiculous! He throws himself off a ledge and Eric's calling it brave? Eric who tried to have you throw knives at Al's head?" She pauses and makes a face like she is going to be sick. "He wasn't brave! He was depressed and a coward and he almost killed me! Is that the kind of thing we respect here?" She has started to yell. I know she needs to get it out, but underneath a security camera in the middle of the hallway is not the best place for her to vent.

"What do you want them to do? Condemn him? Al's already dead. He cant hear it and its too late." I say, trying to calm her down. Her eyes flash angry at me and I know it didn't work. I have to get her away from here. She isn't thinking, to lost in her own rage to care what danger she is putting herself in. She is becoming reckless.

"Its not about Al, "" her words starting to come fast, in an all out rant. "Its about everyone watching! Everyone who now sees hurling themselves into the chasm as a viable option. I mean, why not do it if everyone call you a hero afterward? Why not do it if everyone will remember your name? Its...I can't...This would never have happened in Abnegation! None of it! Never. This place is warped him and ruined him, and I don't are if saying that makes me a Stiff, I don't care, I don't care!"

She is shaking and tears are starting to flow down her face. She wipes them away furiously. Trying to stop them. I look to the security camera above the drinking fountain and pray that no one is watching.

"Careful, Tris," I say. My eyes never leaving the camera.

"Is that all you can say?" That I should be careful? That's it?" she scowls at me, her words harsh.

"You're as bad as the Candor, you know that?" I grab her arm and drag her away from the drinking fountain. She struggles to free herself and I tighten my grip. I stop a few feet away knowing we are out of the camera's range. I lean in closer to her, my face only inches form hers I set both hands on her shoulders and squeeze them hard, my fingers digging in to her arms.

"I'm not going to say this again, so listen carefully. They are watching you. _You_, in particular." I say, a warning tone in my voice.

"Let go of me," she says weakly.

I realize how hard I am squeezing her and my fingers instantly spring apart. She rubs her shoulder and I know I was hurting her. I feel guilty for a moment. I wasn't trying to hurt her. I am scared for her. I straighten myself trying to regain my composure. She looks a little frightened of me. But she doesn't back away. Instead she gets that questioning look in her eyes.

"Are they watching you, too?" she says, so quietly I wouldn't be able to hear me if I wasn't inches from her.

"I keep trying to help you," I say, exhausted by her inability to catch on, "but you refuse to be helped."

"Oh, right. Your help," she says, sarcastically. "Stabbing my ear with a knife and taunting me and yelling at me more than you yell at anyone else, it sure is helpful."

_Is that what she thinks I have been doing? Taunting her, picking on her?_ My anger begins to boil, frustration and anxiety mix in and I come back at her. "Taunting you? You mean when I threw the knives? I wasn't taunting you. I was reminding you that if you failed, someone else would have to take your place."

She cups the back of her neck with her hand and looks down at the ground. I see the realization that I am right spread over her. She looks up at me, but I can see she is no longer angry.

"Why?" she says.

"Because you're from Abnegation," I say. "and it's when you're acting selflessly that you are at your bravest. If I were you , I would do a better job of pretending that selfless impulse is going away, because if the wrong people discover it" I pause, I don't want to think about what will happen if the wrong people discover it. "Let's just say, it won't be good for you."

She looks scared, her words come out desperate, "Why? why do they care about my intentions?"

_She really doesn't get it. She hasn't been trying to be hard headed or stubborn, she really is this naive._ How could I have not seen it before. She has never been in danger in her whole life. _I am so stupid._ I should have handled this differently, but it is too late now.

"Intentions are the only thing they care about. They try to make you think they care about what you do, but they don't. They don't want you to act a certain way. They want you to think a certain way. So you're easy to understand."

"Why? Why do they care about my intentions?" she looks at me, trying to take in what I am telling her.

"So you won't pose a threat to them." I presses a hand to the wall next to her head and lean into it. I want so desperately to make the space between us as small as possible. She stares at my collarbone, the top of her head barely reaching my chin. How can someone so small, be so strong?

"I don't understand why they care what I think, as long as I'm acting how they want me to." she says.

"You're acting how they want you to now, but what happens when you don't? When your Abnegation wired brain tells you to do something else, something they don't want?"

"I might not need you to help me. Ever think about that?" she says. "I'm not weak, you know. I can do this on my own."

I shake my head, and the corners of my mouth turn up. She really doesn't see herself as strong, or she wouldn't feel the need to defend it to others all the time. She can't believe that I or anyone else would see her that way.

"You think my first instinct is to protect you. Because you're small, or a girl, or a Stiff. But you're wrong." I lean my face close to hers and wrap my fingers around her chin. My whole body tingles, like there is an electric current flowing between us. "My instinct is to push you until you break, just to see how hard I have to press." I can see her body tense up, but she doesn't pull away. Her eyes flash at me, that spark waking me up. We are so close we are breathing the same air. I look down at the birds tattooed on her collarbone. She looks like one of those birds, so small, pressed against me. I trace my eyes up her neck and stop a moment at her lips, I want so badly to kiss her. I keep my eyes moving up, until they find hers. "But, I resist."

"Why..." she swallows hard and licks her lips "Why is that your first instinct?"

"Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up. I've seen it. Its fascinating." I run my hand down her jaw to her neck my thumb grazing her collarbone, tracing her tattoo. Her skin makes my fingers tingle, and I know that I can't pull away. "Sometimes I just...want to see it agin. Want to see you awake."

I feel her hands slip around my waist and my stomach instantly knots. She pulls herself into my chest and wraps her arms around me. Her fingers skim the muscles in my back. I reach forward and press her closer to me by the small of her back. I smooth her hair and she closes her eyes. A moment ago she looked scared of me, but now she seems like she feels totally safe in my arms. I love the feeling of her in my arms. I don't want to ever let her go.

"Should I be crying?" she says, her voice muffled by my shirt. I can feel her warm breath against my chest as she speaks and it makes my whole body tingle.

"You think I know anything about tears?" I say, quietly.

"If I had forgiven him," she says, "do you think he would be alive now?"

"I don't know," I reply. I press my hand to her cheek, and she turns her face into it, keeping her eyes closed.

"I feel like it's my fault."

"It isn't your fault," I say. I lean down and press my forehead to hers. I had never really thought about how much tall I am compared to her, the top of her head barely meeting my shoulders. I breath her in, closing my eyes. I want so badly to help her through this.

"But I should have. I should have forgiven him." she says, her voice filled with regret.

"Maybe. Maybe there's more we all could have done, but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time." I say. It is an Abnegation teaching and I hope that it will comfort her. I know she will recognize it, it is something her farther used to lecture about at our weekly meetings. She frowns a little and I don't know what she is thinking. She pulls back from me and looks into my eyes.

"What faction did you come from, Four?"

"It doesn't matter. This is where I am now. Something you would do well to remember for yourself." It is an omission, not an outright lie. I want to tell her everything, but I can't, not here, not like this. I know how I am going to tell her, I just need it to be the right time. She has been through so much in the past two days, that I think information like that might be too much for her to handle. I look down at her, conflicted over not telling her. Lost in her eyes, I move forward and press my lips to her forehead. She closes her eyes, gently rubbing her hands up and down my back again. We stay that way for long time, my lips pressed against her skin, her hands on my waist. It is the first time I have felt whole, in a long time.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Thank you so much for the reviews and the follows and favorites! It means so much to me that you are continuing to read! **

Chapter 18

We finally broke away from each other when we heard people coming down the hallway. I walked away from her in the opposite direction of the voices. It was Christina and the others looking for her. She laced her hand in mine as I walked away, not letting go until our fingers could no longer hold on to one another. I stood back in the shadows watching her go, making sure she was safely tucked in the middle of the group, before I headed back to my apartment. I needed to rest, I was going to need all my strength if I was going to carry out my plan for later.

I had decided to take Tris through my fear landscape. I wanted to see if she could figure out, on her own, who I was and where I had come from. I don't know if there is a way to put it into words, better to just let her see it. I want to move forward with this, whatever it is, but not until she knows all of me. The real me. I don't want her to love the carefully crafted image of a Dauntless I have created. If she is going to love me, I want her to love Tobias, not Four.

She would be the only other person in Dauntless to know any of it. The only other person to know was Amar, my trainer, but he is dead now, killed over his Divergence. He was the one who warned me about mine, and helped me know how to hide myself. He made Dauntless feel like my home. It hadn't felt that way since his death. That is, until she came.

I lay down on my bed and my pillow still smells like her. I take deep breaths of her, holding the pillow to my face. She smells like lavender and something else. Mint maybe? I don't know, but it is comforting and relaxing. I am soon asleep wishing she was here with me. When I wake up, it is dark outside and I know it is late enough that hardly anyone will be out.

I head down to the Pit on my way to the dorms, I had planned on waking her up and taking her with me. But, when I start across the Pit, I see her with Christina and Will. She is standing up, leaning over the rail and for a moment my heart stops. _Why aren't they doing anything?_ Then I see her fling what looks to be Erudite reports into the Chasm, laughing as she does. Chrstina yawns and says something about heading to bed. I cross to her right and know that she saw me out of the corner of her eye. I see her watching me as I climb higher around the outside walls on the narrow pathway. She says something about meeting them in the dorms and heads off after me. I slow down enough to allow her to almost catch up to me, but not enough that we are walking together. When I reach the fear landscape room, I stop. I hear her walk in behind me.

"Since you're here, you might as well go in with me." I say, not bothering to turn around. I don't want her to see the grin on my face. I want her to think that I didn't want her to follow me.

"Into your fear landscape?" she asks, nervously.

"Yes."

"I can do that?" she asks, walking towards me.

"The serum connects you to the program," I say, "but the program determines whose landscape you go through. And right now, it's set to put us through mine."

"You would let me see that?" There is a tone of disbelief in her voice.

"Why else do you think I'm going in?" I ask, quietly, still not looking at her. I am scared that if I look at her, I might loose my nerve. "There are some things I want to show you."

I hold up the syringe and she tilts her head to better expose her neck. My hand shakes a little and all I can think about is all the other things I want to do to her neck besides plunge a needle into it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, then I plunge the needle in. When I have finished, I offer the black box that I keep the syringes in to her.

"I've never done this before." she says, taking the box from me. She looks scared, like she might hurt me.

"Right here," I say, touching the vein on my neck, marking it with my fingernail so she knows where to inject it. She has to stand on her tiptoes to be able to reach my neck at the right angle for the needle. Her hands shakes a little as she pushes it in. I just look at her eyes and they steady me. I barely feel the sting.

I put the syringes back in the box and place the box by the door. Then, I take her hand and she slides her fingers into mine. Her hand is warm and soft. I open the door and lead her into the dark room. I expect her to be nervous, but her breaths are even and she follows me without hesitation, holding firmly to my hand the whole time.

"See if you can figure out why they call me Four." The door clicks shut behind us and we are now standing, hand in hand, in complete and total darkness. She inches closer to me and I feel her press against my arm.

"What's your real name?" she asks.

"See if you can figure that out, too." I say, just as the floor begins to rise beneath our feet.

The city stretches out in front of us and we are standing on a metal beam high above the city. The wind starts to blow hard and I feel Tris lean against me, trying to stay on her feet. I wrap my arm around her, trying to steady us both. I had momentarily forgotten she was hear with me. I can feel my chest tighten and I try to keep my breathing even, but I am starting to panic.

"We have to jump, don't we?" she shouts over the wind.

I nod. I can't speak.

"On three, okay?" she shouts.

I nod again, paralyzed by the thought of jumping.

"One...two...three!" she shouts.

I feel her hand pulling mine forcing me into a run. After the first step, I begin to sprint with her right off the edge of the building. We fall fast and I can feel the air pushing back at us, until I feel us on our hands and knees on the floor again. I gasp for air and press my hand to my chest trying to slow my breathing. Tris is beside me grinning. _Did she seriously enjoy that?_ She looks completely awake, alive, the magical spark dancing in her eyes.

"What's next?" she asks, almost excited. _Great, I'm glad my worst nightmares amuse her. Does anything really scare her?_

Then the walls begin to close in around us and she slams her head into my collarbone. I pull my arms to my chest trying to give us more room. I begin to panic once more forcing my breaths in and out through clenched teeth. I start to hunch over as the ceiling comes down on us.

"Confinement," she says.

I just grunt at her and she tilts her head enough to look at me. I feel my self grimace, my chest is so tight it burns, this space is only big enough for me. We are going to suffocate if we are in here much longer.

"Hey, its okay. Here-" she says. I feel her guide my arms around her body so that I have more space. I clutch at her back and press my face next to hers. I want her as close to me as possible. I know her touch will calm me if I can focus on it and not the panic.

"This is the first time I'm happy I'm so small." she laughs. _Not helping, Tris._

"Mmhmm," I strain out through my teeth.

"We can't break out of here," she says. "It's easier to face the fear head on right? So what you need to do is make the space smaller. Make it worse so it gets better. Right?"

"Yes." I force out, my voice tight and strained.

"Okay. We'll have to crouch, then. Ready?" she says.

I'm not ready. I will never be ready, but I know telling her that won't stop her so I just close my eyes and nod. She squeezes my waist and now my heart races for a completely different reason than the panic. She pulls me down with her and turns to curl herself into a ball. I hear the wood planks screech against each other as they move ever closer down on us. Her head is pressed up against me and I breath into her ear.

"This is worse," I say. "This is definitely..."

"Shhh. Arms around me." she instructs in a soothing tone. I obediently slip both arms around her waist. I know it sounds strange, but she seems to be enjoying this. _How can she be enjoying this?_

"The simulation measures your fear response," she says softly. "So if you can calm your heartbeat down, it will move on to the next one. Remember? So try to forget that we're here."

_Forget that we are here? How in the hell am I supposed to do that?_ Even if I could some how mange to forget that I am trapped in a box that is threatening to squish me, I would never be able to calm my heart rate down enough to convince the simulation, because she is sitting in my lap less than an inch from my face.

"Yeah," I say, my lips brushing her ear ever so slightly as I speak. "It's that easy, huh?"

"You now, most boys would enjoy being trapped in close quarters with a girl." she says, teasingly. _Is she seriously trying to flirt with me right now?_

"Not claustrophobic people, Tris!" my voice coming out desperate now.

"Okay, okay." She sets her hand on top of mine and guides it to her chest, right over her heart. _Yeah, that's definitely going to help me calm down. Just put my hands all over you and we'll see if that lowers my heart rate._

"Feel my heartbeat. Can you feel it?"

"Yes." _Of course, I can feel it my hand is pressed to your chest!_

"Feel how steady it is?" she says, calmly. _It's not steady, it's fast._ It beats as wildly as mine, but I know its not because of the box. She is as nervous to be in here with me, as I am to be in here with her.

"It's fast."

"Yes, well, that has nothing to do with the box." she says. Then I see her wince slightly out of the corner of my eye. She didn't mean to admit that to me. I don't say anything, the box is getting tighter and I am finding it harder to breath by the second.

"Every time you feel me breathe, you breathe. Focus on that."

"Okay." I say.

I breathe deeply, and my chest rises and falls in rhythm with hers. After a few seconds of this, she says calmly, "Why don't you tell me where this fear comes from. Maybe talking about it will help us…somehow."

"Um…okay." I breathe with her again. "This one is from my fantastic childhood. Childhood punishments. The tiny closet upstairs. My mother kept our winter coats in our closet." I gasp, the memory of my mother causing the panic to increase. "I don't really want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay. Then…I can talk. Ask me something." she says, casually.

"Okay." I laugh shakily in her ear. "Why is your heart racing, Tris?"

I feel her cringe and she says, "Well, I…I barely know you. I barely know you and I'm crammed up against you in a box, Four, what do you think?"

"If we were in your fear landscape," he says, "would I be in it?"

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Of course you're not. But that's not what I meant." I laugh again at the thought that I make her as nervous as she makes me. The walls break apart and fall away. We are in a circle of light. I sigh and lift my arms away from her, even though I don't want to. When we are done here, I have to find a way to get her back in that position. I was starting to enjoy the feeling of her pressed against me. I stand and turn to face her, a wide grin spreads across my face. _She likes me, and she admitted it to me._ She gives me wary look.

"Maybe you were cut out for Candor, because you are a terrible liar." I say.

"I think my aptitude test ruled that one out pretty well." she says defensively.

I shake my head. "The aptitude test tells you nothing"

She narrows her eyes. "What are you trying to tell me? Your test isn't the reason you ended up Dauntless?"

I swallow hard and take a deep breath, I am scared to tell her, but I don't want to lie to her. "Not exactly, no. I…" Just then I see her out of the corner of my eye. The woman sits, tied to a chair a few yards away. Her head is hung down and her blonde hair covers her face. From where I stand it could be Tris. There is a table to my right with the gun. Tris looks at me, then the woman, and finally to the gun. She opens her mouth to ask something, but then I see the realization in her eyes and she closes it again, looking up into my eyes. She won't be able to help me through this one. I have to do this alone.

"You have to kill her." she says softly.

"Every single time."

"She isn't real."

"She looks real." I bite my lip. "It feels real."

I walk over to the table and take the gun, loading the single bullet into the chamber. There is not as much panic with this one, but far more dread. I am filled with dread. I line up my shot, exhale and fire. Her head whips back and her body crumples against the ropes that hold her. I drop the gun and we both stare at her lifeless body. Tris grabs my arm and pulls at me, but I don't move.

"Come on. Let's go. Keep moving." she says, tugging on me again. This time I allow her to lead me away, my hand firmly grasping hers.

Then, I see him. He creeps along the edge of the circle of light like the Boogie Man stalking some poor child in their dreams. He waits for us to take another step. "Here we go," I whisper.

I pull us into the middle of the circle and a tall, slim figure emerges into the light. He wears grey Abnegation clothes and has his hair cut close to his scalp. He holds his hands behind his back and I. know what he is hiding in them. The belt.

"Marcus," she whispers.

"Here's the part where you learn my real name." My voice is shaking and she rubs her hand against my arm, the rest of me is shaking too.

I inch backwards as he approaches, dropping her hand trying to lead him away from her. "Tobias, this is for your own good." he snarls and it echoes a dozen more times. A dozen more of him step into the circle all holding the same black belt. I don't look at her. I can't take my eyes off him. I know what is coming next and I know I need to fight back, but the panic starts to set in and I feel as though I am paralyzed.

"I see the first first Marcus yank his arm back and put my arms up to protect my face from the lash. I close my eyes instinctively in anticipation of the sting, but it doesn't come. I hear her yell out in pain and look up to see the belt wrapped around her wrist the end of it striking Marcus hard in the shoulder. _She protected me._ _She stood in front of his belt to save me._ I see him yell as the belt strikes him and he lunges at her. I push her behind me, angry that he would try to hurt her. I am no longer afraid of him. I will not let anyone hurt her.

The computer registers that I am no longer afraid and all the Marcuses vanish and we are standing in the fear landscape room once more. The lights come on and we can see the busted brick walls and cement floor.

"That's it?" she says, sounding confused. "Those were your worst fears? Why do you only have four...Oh that's why they call you..."

Her words trail off when she sees the expression on my face. My eyes are wide and vulnerable. My lips are slightly parted. I am in awe of her. She was so selfless and so brave. She didn't even think she just acted, she never even hesitated to put herself in danger to save another from harm. _Amazing._

I wrap my hand around her elbow and tug her towrd me. I kiss down her cheek and pull her to me, wrapping my arms tightly around her shoulders. I bury my face into her neck and breathe against her, lavender and mint fill my nose and I feel relaxed. She is stiff for a moment and then her arms loop around my waist and she sighs.

"Hey, we got through it." she says softly, soothing me.

I lift my head and slid my fingers through her hair tucking it behind her ear. I stare at her for a moment, taking in how truly beautiful she is. My fingers absently fumble with her hair as I say "You got me through it."

"Well," she clears her throat. "It's easy to be brave when they're not my fears."

"Come on," I say, "I have something else to show you." I take her hand and lace her fingers with mine, leading her away from my fears.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Thank you so much to the reviewer who noticed that I left this scene out. In my haste to post an update, I over looked this chapter in my first draft. I apologize, as this is also one of my favorite scenes. Thank you following the updates and reading and rereading as the situation may be. Happy Reading!**

Chapter 18.5

We walk down to the pit our hands laced together. I feel like my whole body is humming with energy. I don't know if it is the adrenaline from my fear landscape or her being so close to me, but I am pretty sure it is her. I have been through my fear landscapre plenty of times and this is the first time I have felt like this afterward.

"So, four fears." she says.

"Four fears then; four fears now," I say, nodding. "They haven't changed, so I keep going in there, but…I still haven't made any progress."

"You can't be fearless, remember?" she says. "Because you still care about things. About your life."

"I know." I say. I walk her down the narrow pathway that leads beside the chasm to a group of flat rocks. I had discovered this place when I was an initiate. I would come her to think or when i needed a break from the chaos of Dauntless. i have never taken anyone else here with me. There was never anyone i wanted to share it with, until now.

"You were going to tell me about your aptitude test results," she says.

""Ah." I scratch the back of my neck with my free hand. She certainly is persistent. "Does it matter?"

"Yes. I want to know." she says.

"How demanding you are." I smile.

We reach the end of the path and stand at the bottom of the chasm, where the rocks form unsteady ground, rising up at harsh angles from the rushing water. I lead her up and down, across small gaps and over angular ridges. My shoes cling to the rough rock. The soles of my shoes mark each rock with a wet footprint. I find a relatively flat rock near the side, where the current isn't strong, and sits down, my feet dangling over the edge. She sits beside me and looks over the jagged edge of the rock to the river below. "These are things I don't tell people, you know. Not even my friends," I say.

She looks at me expectantly, almost a little nervously. I know what she is trying to get me to tell her, but I am still not sure there is any safe place in Dauntless to talk about it. But, the roar of the chasm is loud enough that no one will over hear us, so I decide to continue.

"My result was as expected," he says. "Abnegation."

"Oh." she says, deflated. "But you chose Dauntless anyway?"

"Out of necessity."

"You had to get away from your dad," she says. "Is that why you don't want to be a Dauntless leader? Because if you were, you might have to see him again?"

I shrug. "That, and I've always felt that I don't quite belong among the Dauntless. Not the way they are now, anyway."

"But you're…incredible. I mean, by Dauntless standards. Four fears is unheard of. How could you not belong here?"she says. I stare down at her in disbelief. _Me, incredible? I am not incredible, I just pay attention and practice more than anyone else. What else was I supposed to do with all my free time? Its not like I'm Mr. Popular, like Zeke. _

I shrug again, "I have a theory that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different. All your life you've been training to forget yourself, so when you're in danger, it becomes your first instinct. I could belong to Abnegation just as easily."

"Yeah, well, I left Abnegation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried to be." she says, sounding heavy.

"That's not entirely true." I smile at her. "That girl who let someone throw knives at her to spare a friend, who hit my dad with a belt to protect me-that selfless girl, that's not you?"

She frowns at me, "You've been paying close attention, haven't you?"

"I like to observe people." I say grinning at her. She knows its a lie, I don't like to observe all people, just her. But, its not my fault she is so damn distracting.

"Maybe you were cut out for Candor, Four, because you're a terrible liar." she grins back at me. Her eyes sparkle and i can see the spark dance with in them. I place my hand beside hers on the rock and lean closer to her.

"Fine. I was just watching you." I say as my eyes slide over her face. i focus on every part of it, her chin, then her lips, then her nose and then back to her eyes. "I was watching you because, I like you. And don't call me Four okay? It's nice to hear my name again."

It is nice to hear my name again, especially when she says it. She blushes at what I just told her and she struggles to find words to respond.

"But you're older than I am...Tobias." she stammers.

I smile down at her. "Yes, that whopping two-year gap really is insurmountable, isn't it?"

"I'm not trying to be self-deprecating. I just don't get it. I'm younger. I'm not pretty. I-"

I laugh, a deep laugh. She really doesn't know how truly beautiful she is. She doesn't even have to try, she is just beautiful. I touch my lips to her temple. I can't hold back anymore. I want to kiss her and hold her and tell her she is beautiful forever. It may take that long to get her to believe me.

"Don't pretend. You know I'm not. I'm not ugly, but I am certainly not pretty."

"Fine. You're not pretty. So?" I say annoyed, that she keeps saying that. I kiss her cheek. "I like how you look. You're deadly smart. You're brave. And even though you found out about Marcus, you aren't looking at my like I'm a kicked puppy or something."

"Well, you're not." she says.

I just stare at her for a moment. There is not one hint of pity in her eyes. The shine back at me with that same familiar spark. They make me feel whole and strong, not broken and weak, the way Marcus does. I press my hand to her face and lean in brushing my lips to hers. I feel like some one has lit a fire inside me and I need know what it will feel like to have them pressed to mine.

I pull back and look at her again. I can feel my walls shattering around me. My feelings pouring out in front of her, like the water that holds her captive in her fears. I'll fight for her. I won't ever let her go. It is not a feeling. It is a choice. I grin and press my lips back to hers. I take her face in my hands and kiss her, again, firmer, more certain. She wraps her arm around me, sliding it up onto my neck and into my hair. For a few minutes we kiss, deep in the chasm. When we finally do rise, hand in hand, I know that I found the person I am supposed to be with. She makes me stronger, she makes me whole.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: Thank you so much for the reviews! I also appreciate all the follows and favorites. I will continue this story to the end, as long as I have at least one reader. Please let me know what you think. I love to hear from my readers. Thank you for your continued support. Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent. I just like to play with the characters.**

Chapter 19

I wake up early and head to the training room. I want to get my workout in before breakfast. I know today will be a long day. The initiates are going to go through Lauren's fear landscape. Even if Marcus wasn't in mine, we wouldn't use me. I only have four fears and there are 15 initiates left, including the Dauntless born.

On my way to the training room, I pass the transfer dorms. I peek in the room and the light from the hallway shines on her face. She is sleeping peacefully, mouth slightly open. Her hair lays across her face, rising and falling with her breaths. I stare at her for a moment. _What was doing, again? Oh yeah, training room. _

I think back to last night, how perfect it was. How perfect she is. I can't help but grin. She makes me feel happy, hopeful even. _Hopeful for what though?_ All of that fades, when I open the door to the training room. Eric stands leaning back against the gun cabinet. My face immediately hardens.

"Thought I would find you here. You're later than usual, what's her name?" Eric says, raising an eyebrow at me.

"What do you want, Eric?" I say.

"Well it seems that some of the test results from stage two were entered manually and a couple showed discrepancies. It seemed to happen to the same two initiates every time." he gives me a concerned and confused look. It is not convincing, if this is his best acting he needs to try harder.

"What are you getting at?" I say. I act bored, but my body is alert and ready. I know what he is implying. I think about her and Uriah. I will protect them.

"It's just odd that's all. Anything you care to share? Lauren didn't seem to have the same, let's just say problems with her sims." He grins at me. It is a predatory look.

"You would have to be more specific with the initiates you are referring to. I administered over forty sims last week. You can't expect me to remember them all in perfect detail." I say, making sure to keep my voice even.

"Well it happened with Uriah and," he stops and acts like he is trying to remember, a wide smile spreads across his face pulling at his piercings, " I believe it was the _stiff_. Ring any bells?" He stares at me, studying my face for a reaction to the last part.

I don't give him the satisfaction of reacting. I press my fingers to the bridge of my nose and fain annoyance. "Tris got sick during a couple of them, I vaguely remember her saying the same thing happened during her aptitude test. Uriah seemed to sensitive to the serum as well. He threw up during one of them." I say, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand. I shrug.

"Are you sure that's all?" Eric says. His eyes narrow at me, but he will not get anymore than that.

"That's all I got." I say. "Now, if you are done, I need to get to breakfast. The initiates are going through Lauren's fears today. Don't want to be late for that too."

I turn and walk back out of the training room, not giving him a chance to respond. I don't stop until I reach my table in the dining hall. I march straight over to Zeke. I sit down and lean over so that only he can hear me, "Eric is suspicious. Uriah will need to be careful during landscapes. They are watching him."

Zeke's eyes grow big and I can tell he is worried, but he does his best to look calm. He nods at me. I eat my breakfast I silence. Nodding occasionally to indicate I am listening to the conversation around me. Zeke will take care of Uriah, but I will have to take care of Tris and I will have to do it without anyone knowing. I can't breathe thinking about what Eric might do to her. She cannot give him any reason to attack her. I try to formulate a plan, but the only ones I can think of involve me talking to her about it. I will have to find a reason to catch her alone, somewhere away from Eric's prying eyes. Then it comes to me. The trains. She can leave dauntless with a member. I will take her on the trains tonight. I can talk to her there.

I stand up and am going to try to catch her in the hallway after breakfast. I have to warn her not to manipulate the fear lanscapes today and tell her to meet me at the trains tonight. I see her sitting at the table with her friends. My stomach drops when I see her face. She looks absolutely sullen, hurt even. Are they still giving her a hard time about her rank? I walk towards the door and hope she will see me. Her eyes dart up for a moment and the look she gives me tells me, it is not them. _She is angry with me._ My heart sinks. It feels like someone has punched me hard int the chest. Now is not a good time to talk to her. I will need to wait until after the landscapes.

Thirty minutes later, I stand in the fear landscape room. The initiates gather around Lauren and I. I stand with my feet apart, arms crossed against my chest. The more I thought about Eric hurting Tris, the angry I became. The fact that she looked at me with hurt in her eyes this morning only adds to the mood I am in. _Does she not understand, I am trying to protect her?_ I thought I explained that to her last night. No one has ever been able to frustrate me so completely before. It is absolutely maddening. The frustration mixes with the worry. I know I am glaring at the initiates, but I don't care. Why can't it be one of them and not her?

Lauren steps up when they have all arrived and stands with her hands on her hips. There is an air of superiority about her, a confidence in the way she stands that is intimidating, like she is daring you to challenge her. It is something I have noticed that most Dauntless women have about them. Tris has it too, but not in the same way they do. Hers only comes out when she is acting selflessly, protecting others from harm. _She is so small, yet so fierce._ Lauren begins to speak, and I try my best to look at anyone but her. I know Eric is watching all of this from the control room, waiting for me to slip up. I will not give him that chance. I will be harsh instructor Four to a Tee today.

"Two years ago, I was afraid of spiders, suffocation, walls that inch slowly inward and trap you between them, getting thrown out of Dauntless, uncontrollable bleeding, getting run over by a train, my father's death, public humiliation, and kidnapping by men without faces."

The initiates all stare blankly at her.

"Most of you will have anywhere from ten to fifteen fears in your fear landscapes. That is the average number."

Lynn speaks up, "What is the lowest number someone has gotten?"

"In recent years," she pauses, and glances over her shoulder at me, "four."

I feel the initiates all look over at me. I see her eyes search for mine. I train my eyes to the floor. If I look at her, Eric will catch it and then she will be in more danger.

Thankfully, Lauren continues, "You will not find out your number today. The simulation is set to my fear landscape program, so you will experience my fears instead of your own."

Tris looks at Christina pointedly, crossing her arms. _I wonder what that was about?_ I make a mental note to ask her later. I vaguely hear Lauren start assigning fears and don't think to much about it. I walk back over the the control room. I start prepping the computer for the first initiate. There is a small observation window in the control room that looks out into the fear landscape. Lauren comes in and I hand her the electrodes. I have already connected mine.

I absentmindedly watch the initiates go through Lauren's fear. I know Zeke said that he would talk to Uriah about getting through them like a Dauntless would, not manipulating any of it. My thoughts drift to Tris. I had not had the opportunity to speak with her. I bite my lip, until I taste blood, hoping she will find away out of the fear, not around it like the simulations.

Uriah easily passes through the fear of public humiliation, his heartbeat was higher when he was entering the fear. I don't think anything embarrasses a Pedron. He smiles and I see a momentary blush cross his cheeks. Then his heartbeat evens out and the simulation fades. Lauren gets up and starts into the fear landscape to call Tris.

"You ok? You seem a little off today." she says pausing momentarily at the door. I look up at her and shrug. "Don't worry, she belongs here. She will do fine." Lauren looks at me. I know she is concerned for me. _If only you knew._

She calls Tris into the room. I see her bend her head to the side. She barely flinches as Lauren injects her with the serum. I turn back to the computer, not wanting Lauren to see the worried look on my face. Lauren squeezes my shoulder as she passes, reconnecting the electrodes to her temple. I close my eyes just as Tris enters Lauren's fear.

The scenery changes as the kidnapping begins. I see hands clamp around her mouth and I immediately begin to panic. I want to run into the room and take her away from this. I know Lauren has no way of knowing that this fear is way to close to reality. Tris is next to the chasm. She screams and thrashes, trying to free herself. The arms are too strong and she screams against them again. _Oh God, Tris._ Her screams continue to echo in my mind. I am lost in the fear with her for a moment, before my senses return. I hear a voice yelling at me.

"Four. FOUR! Stop the sim. She can't handle it. Stop it now!" Lauren yells at me, jumping up from her chair.

I slam my hand down on the cancel button. I am already in the fear landscape screaming at the attackers to let her go, before I come back to my senses. I hear my voice stern, as I yell "STOP!"

I see Tris starting to come out of the fear. My heartbeats so rapidly, I think it will burst from my chest. She begins to shake uncontrolably, dropping to her knees, pressing her hands to her face to hide the sobs coming from her. I see her body shudder and all I want to do is pull her to me and take her away from all of this.

As I approach her, logic returns and my brain screams at me that Eric is watching. Whatever he will do to her will be far worse than what she just experienced. Rage replaces fear and I cannot control my reaction. I have to protect her. My anger and worry mixes into one as I wrench her to her feet. Pulling at her wrists.

"What the hell was that Stiff?" I growl at her. Her face is inches from mine and all I want to do is press my lips to hers.

Her eyes are wide with fear and panic, she tries to respond "I... I didn't-"

"Get yourself together," I snarl. "That was pathetic."

I see her eyes flash at me. I know I have crossed a line, but Eric got a show and that serves to calm me for now. He will back off of her for now. My yelling at her and her poor performance serving to protect her until she is a full member of Dauntless. After tomorrow, I will be able to protect her, free from the danger our relationship currently poses to her.

Her hand crashes against my face so hard, it leaves me momentarily speechless. My cheek burns from the impact. I stare at her, my eyes wide with shock and anger. _I am trying to protect her dammit!_

"Shut up!" she screams at me staring me deep in the eyes, before yanking her arm from my grasp. She walks out of the room and I stand there. Every inch of me screams to go after her, but I will my feet to the floor. _If I go after her, Eric will win. He will kill her._ I have to protect her, no matter the costs. I will find her later, explain it all. Hopefully she will listen. But even if she doesn't, at least she will be safe.

"Lauren walks out of the control room. Her face is wild with shock and anger. She sees doesn't seem concerned by the look on my face.

"What the hell did you just do? Did she have something happen to her?"

I just nod back at her. Regret and embarrassment start to replace the rage I felt just moments ago.

"Jesus Four! Those rumors were true! Why didn't you say something? I would have assigned her a different fear. You were a complete dick to her." Lauren says, accusingly.

"My job is teach her how to survive in Dauntless. It is what she needed to hear. It was pathetic." I say sternly. I glare at her, all the time aware that eric is still watching.

"Whatever." Lauren says. She shakes her head at me in disgust and stalks out of the room. I harden myself to her reaction. Making sure that I appear cold to the whole situation on camera. Inside, I feel sick about what just happened. She was already hurt and now...well now I don't know. I just hope that I have a chance to explain myself.


	21. Chapter 21

**AN:Thank you for all the reviews. I plan to update this story three times a week now that school is out for the summer. Thanks for reading!**

Chapter 20

I leave the landscape room and head down to the pit. I walk to the chasm nervously. I know deep inside she would never do that. Choose what Al chose. But, I can't help myself from glancing down at the raging river as I pass it on my way to the dorms. I see Will and Christina laughing and walking around. I walk past the dorms and glance in. She is not there either. _This is pointless._ I head to the control room and know the fastest way to find her is look at the security footage.

The only person on duty right now is Dan. Eric has already left. Dan nods his head at me. He doesn't ask why I'm there. Dan doesn't question much. He is middle aged and I know that his time in Dauntless is fast coming to a close. All members are sent to the factionless at forty. If you live that long. I wonder if the factions realize that they are sending trained soldiers in mass to the factionless. It seems a little reckless, careless even, to train the people you turn your back on how to fight. I hope the factionless don't realize they outnumber us five to one. Half of the factionless are failed Dauntless or aged out Dauntless. We really would stand no chance against them if they ever did decide to overthrow the city.

I press the thoughts out of my mind replaying the footage from the cameras near the fear landscape. I see her leave and she doesn't head back to the dorms, instead she heads to the roof. I see her pace back and forth and then she does something, that I didn't think any of the initiates would be stupid enough to do. She jumps on a train. I start to frantically search the cameras in the city. Finally, I am able to catch the back of her blonde hair as it enters the Erudite compound. _Why would she go to Erudite? Doesn't she know they are the ones hunting the Divergent? Of course, she doesn't. But, why would she go to Erudite? _I frantically pull up her file. _She is from Abnegation. What possible tie can she have to Erudite_? Then I see it. Her family lineage.

_Mother: Natalie Prior _

_Faction of origin: Dauntless_

_Faction of residence: Abnegation_

_Father: Andrew Prior_

_Faction of origin: Erudite_

_Faction of Residence: Abnegation_

_Sibling: Caleb Prior_

_Faction of origin: Abnegation_

_Faction of residence: Erudite_

I freeze. She went to see her brother. In Erudite. He knows everything about her. I am sure he has suspected her Divergence. Tris's Divergence is the strongest I have ever seen. I think that is why she has such a hard time hiding it. I feel helpless, small. I know there is nothing I can do, but wait for her safe return. I can't go charging into Erudite and pull her out of there without a valid reason and I don't think marching into Max's office and declaring my feelings for her is going to serve as valid reason.

I don't leave my constant watch of the security cameras, except to pace nervously behind the screens. I have every entrance in Dauntless pulled up. _When she comes back, I will be there. If she comes back._

I will myself to push the thoughts out of my mind. My stare traces over the screens. Darting from one to another in an almost frenzied state. Then I see her. She exits a town car that I know belongs to Erudite. Then I see Eric walk into the room waiting for her. I run as fast as my legs will carry me to the back entrance. I pause outside the door to catch my breath. I steady myself before I enter. As I open the door, I hear Eric challenging her.

"I would like to hear an explanation for why you betrayed Dauntless, yourself, and me…" Eric taps his chest. "…by venturing into another faction's headquarters."

"I…" Tris starts. She takes a deep breath. She doesn't have one, not a satisfactory one. Eric's hands curl into fists, and I see the fear flash in her eyes. She knows she is in danger.

I press my back against the door, not letting it close. Eric has not noticed my presence and I don't want to give myself away too soon. I need to figure out his intentions, before I react.

"If you cannot explain," Eric says softly, "I may be forced to reconsider your rank. Or, because you seem to be so attached to your previous faction…perhaps I will be forced to reconsider your friends' ranks. Perhaps the little Abnegation girl inside of you would take that more seriously."

She tries again. "I…"

I can tell that she doesn't have a way out of this. Her breathing becomes shallow and I know she is starting to panic. I let go of the door, pushing it out a little to make it seem like I just walked in. It slams behind me as I walk up, stopping a few feet behind Eric.

"What are you doing?" I ask Eric.

"Leave the room." Eric snaps at me. I can tell he is agitated by my presence. _Good. It will distract him from Tris. _If I can get her to play along, he might let her off and come after me.

"No. She's just a foolish little girl. There's no need to interrogate her." I say. I pinch the bridge of my nose, but look at her through the space between my fingers, trying to send her a silent message to play along. She glances between me and Eric, and then I see it dawn on her.

"Just a foolish girl." Eric snorts. "If she were just a foolish girl, she wouldn't be ranked first now would she?"

"I…I was just embarrassed and didn't know what to do." Tris says, shoving her hands in her pockets, her eyes trained on the floor. I see tears forming in her eyes and she sniffles, "I tried to...and..." she shakes her head. _Damn she's good. I am evening staring to believe it._

"You tried to what?" Eric asks, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Kiss me. And I rejected her, and she went running off like a five-year old. There's really nothing to blame her for but stupidity." I say, irritation in my tone. I mean that last part. She acted out of sheer stupidity. I am angry at her for that. She was stupid and reckless. She could have died.

Eric looks at her, taking his time to look her up and down. Then he looks me up and down. He begins to laugh and it escalates. He laughs to loudly and for too long. It is menacing and is meant to belittle her. I try to seem like I agree with him, but on the inside I want to wrap my hands around his throat.

Eric smirks at her, "Isn't he a little too old for you, Tris?"

She wipes a tear from her cheek. "Can I go now?"

"Fine." Eric says, "but you are not allowed to leave the compound without supervision again, you hear me?"

She nods and he turns toward me. "And you...had better make sure none of the transfers leave this compound again. And that none of the others try to kiss you."

I roll my eyes. " Fine."

Tris turns and walks out of the room to the alley. Eric walks towards the door, smashing into my shoulder as he passes. I glare at him and he laughs. "Like that stiff ever had a chance with you. Pathetic."

My fists clench but I immediately steady myself realizing that he is trying to bait me. When he doesn't see me react he continues to the door. I breathe a sigh of relief, hoping we have convinced him for now. I press my hand back to my face. Now, if I can only convince Tris.

I stand there for a minute. I don't move. I can't act to anxious to go after her. I know Eric is going to walk back in at any moment and catch us. Tris walked out of the room and all I can think is that she left the compound again. My heart races in my chest thinking that I may have lost the only person that matters to me.

I wait one minute, then five, then ten. All the while imagining her in danger. Soon it is too much for me to take and I go after her. I walk out into the alley and see her sitting on the pavement, eyes closed, head down, knees pulled tightly to her chest. As I approach her, she looks at me and stands up. Her arms are crossed, looking at me, not as Tobias, but as Four. I don't like the way she looks at me. I don't want her to see me that way.

"What?" She says defensively as I near her.

"Are you all right?" A crease appears between my eyebrows, and I touch her cheek gently. Hoping she will realize I was trying to protect her. She bats my hand away. A cold look in her eyes. My heart sinks in my chest, knowing that I have hurt her.

"Well," She says, "first I got reamed out in front of everyone, and then I had to chat with the woman who's trying to destroy my old faction, and then Eric almost tossed my friends out of Dauntless, so yeah, it's shaping up to be a pretty great day, Four."

The way she says Four makes me prickle. She does it pointedly and purposefully, reminding me that she is angry at me. _Why is she so stubborn?_ It frustrates me and excites me all at the same time. _Can't she understand that I love her?_ At least I think I do. I don't really know anything about love, but I think this is it. I just shake my head. She needs to get it out. She won't listen until she does. I need her to listen, so I just shake my head and sigh, looking at the surrounding buildings, not wanting to see the hurt and anger so apparent in her eyes.

"Why do you care, anyway?" she snaps at me. "You can be either cruel instructor or concerned boyfriend. You can't play both parts at the same time."

"I am not cruel." I scowl at her. My patience is thinning, I continue with a little more force in my words. "I was protecting you this morning. How do you think Peter and his idiot friends would have reacted if they discovered that you and I were…" she looks up at me and I can see the anger begin to leave them as she starts to realize I was trying to protect her. I sigh, "You would never win. They would always call your ranking a result of my favoritism rather than your skill."

She opens her mouth as if she is going to come back at me, then she closes it. She presses her hands to her cheeks trying to hide the blush that is spreading across them. Then she looks at me again, and says, "You didn't have to insult me to prove something to them."

"And you didn't have to run off to your brother just because I hurt you," I rub the back of my neck, thinking about the fact I hurt her. I didn't mean to hurt her. I am still trying to get the hang of being kind.

"Besides—it worked, didn't it?" I say trying to get around talking about the fact I hurt her.

"At my expense." She says derision in her voice. She clearly isn't going to let it go that easily.

"I didn't think it would affect you this way." I say, more gently this time. It is true. I didn't think she would take it so hard. She is strong, able to take anything Peter and the others throw at her without so much as a whimper. I didn't think about it being different coming from me. I told it was ok to let her guard down around me and then attacked her. I look down, embarrassed by the fact I didn't think about that, and shrug. "Sometimes I forget that I can hurt you. That you are capable of being hurt."

She slides her hands in her pocket and rocks on her heels for a moment, then she grins slightly. She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me. Her eyes meet mine and they have that same spark in them, no longer cold.

"You're brilliant, you know that?" she shakes her head. "You always know exactly what to do."

"Only because I've been thinking about this for a long time," I say, kissing her briefly. "How I would handle it, if you and I…" I pull back and smile, thinking about what she said earlier. "Did I hear you call me your boyfriend, Tris?"

"Not exactly." she shrugs and looks up at me cautiously. "Why? Do you want me to?"

I slip my hands over her neck and press my thumbs under her chin, hooking my fingers behind her ears, forcing her to look up at me. I press my forehead to hers, breathing her in. My breathes mingled with hers. My eyes are closed and I feel my heartbeat beating in my finger tips. I am so nervous, but the thought of her pressed so close to me pushes me through it.

I take a deep breath, "Yes." I think about her and me, together. Then the fear takes over, thinking about what Eric and the others would do if they find out. My smile fades and I am consumed with worry, "You think we convinced him you're just a silly girl?"

"I hope so. Sometimes it helps to be small. I'm not sure I convinced the Erudite, though." she says.

I frown thinking about the Erudite. I have noticed some strange things lately, overheard bits of conversations and seen some strange visitors to the compound on the security cameras. I know something is coming, but I don't know what. I know it has to do with the Divergent, which would put us in even more danger. I am hoping I am wrong, but I know I need to tell her. We are stronger together, this I am certain of. I look at her and my voice is concerned and serious, more like Four than Tobias, "There's something I need to tell you."

She looks up at me concerned, the same unsure look that she had earlier when she called me her boyfriend. "What is it?"

"Not now. Meet me back here at eleven thirty. Don't tell anyone where you're going." I say, pulling her tightly to me, wanting to feel her pressed against me before I go back to pretending she means nothing to me. I let her go and turn in a rush back to the compound. I feel cold in her absence. The ghost of her arms against me lingering on my skin. I don't look back. I just keep walking. I harden my face and try to look cold, but it is difficult as the thought of her being mine makes it hard to hide the smile tugging at my lips.

I walk through the compound lost in my thoughts of how to keep her safe. Safe from Eric, safe from Erudite, safe from whatever life my throw at us. If I ever lost her, there would be no coming back from what it would do to me. I realize that she holds complete power over me. I have never felt this before. Vulnerable. She consumes me and there is no fighting it.

I go to the control room and sit in the back corner. I find her on the security cameras headed back to the pit. She finds Christina and I can see her start to question Tris about today's events. Tris shrugs her off and they head back to the dorms. I don't leave my spot rooted to the view of her. I will watch her, make sure Eric doesn't try anything else today. I can keep her safe from Eric and the others inside this compound. Erudite, however, is a different story. I need to have a plan, but I need her help. One more day and then we can be together, forever. One more day and I will never have to let her go


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: Sorry this update took so long. We have had several nights of severe weather, including two close calls with tornados. Thanks for all the reviews. Keep them coming. I love hearing from you guys!**

_Chapter 22_

I pace back and forth on the roof top, listening to the gravel crunch beneath my feet. I check my watch again, eleven twenty seven. She should be here by now. I start to imagine all the things that could have happened to her. I envision Peter or eric and the awful things they would do to her. I start to head towards the door of the roof on my way to look for her when the door opens and she walks out. I breathe a sigh of relief. She is unharmed, whole and beautiful, just the way I left her.

She walks up and I grab her hand. I don't say anything. I just breathe deeply letting the terrifying thoughts from a moment ago leave me with every breath. The train passes by us and I grab the handle of the car pulling myself in, dragging her light frame with me. She falls against me, her face pressing against my chest. I slide my arms down her small frame, taking in how fragile, yet how strong it feels. She is an enigma. Her weakness emitting an unseen strength, her strength emitting an unseen weakness. It is beautiful and terrifying all at once.

Once we have cleared the Dauntless compound she shouts over the wind, "What is it you need to tell me?"

"Not yet." I answer. It's not that I don't want to tell, its just that I have never been that good at explaining anything but combat techniques, really. I know it will be easier to show her than try to explain it.

I slink to floor, taking her with me. I sit with my back against the wall. She is sitting facing me, her legs trailing to my side. The wind is causing her loose strands of hair to dance across her face and I reach out to press them back behind her ear. I run my hands over her face, hooking my fingers behind her ears, pulling her lips to mine.

They are soft and supple, and warm. I feel as if we are generating our own electric current as I press my lips to hers. I continue to kiss her, wanting to feel all of her against my lips. I kiss her lips, then her cheek, then down her jaw. The train screeches, but I can still hear the faint sigh she makes as I kiss down her neck. I feel a warmth starting to grow in my stomach, a need to have her closer to me even though there is only a fraction of space between us.

The train car shifts and she loses her balance. Her hand lands on my hip as she tries to steady herself. The heat that had start in my core spreads through me, one have never felt before. My need turns into a hunger. As if reading my mind, she moves so that she is sitting on top of me. In this moment, I can't breathe. _Be brave._ I have said those words to her so many times. But right now, in this moment, with her inches from me, her hands on me, I am the one that needs to be brave. I sit up straighter and her hands slip over my shoulders to my neck. I slide my hands down her back, one hand resting there, but my other hand moves to unzip her jacket. I hesitate for a moment, but she doesn't stop me so I continue, the heat and hunger I feel controlling me.

She is shaking as she presses her hands to her legs. Is she afraid or excited? I should stop. This is too much. But then again, she hasn't stopped me. I slide the jacket from her and pull back looking down at her. Her eyes are apprehensive, but there is also a want in them. A hunger that matches my own dancing in the wild spark that burns inside them. I slide my fingers over the tattoo on her collar bone. _Birds. _ I have been meaning to ask her if they are because of her fear.

"Birds," I say trying to distract myself from the hunger to press further, "Are they crows? I keep forgetting to ask."

"Ravens. One for each member of my family." She says, smiling shyly. "You like them?"

Her smile is enough to override the distraction and my hunger to feel her skin against mine takes hold once more. I don't answer I just pull her closer pressing my lips to each bird in turn, hoping that one day I will be included in those birds. I reach up and press a hand to her cheek, knowing that the turning of the car and the sigh of the brakes against the rails, means we are getting close to our destination.

"I hate to say this, but we have get up now," I say, truly hating the Erudite and anyone else that could have interrupted us in this moment.

Tris nods and opens her eyes. I can tell she doesn't want to get up either and it makes me smile. _She wants me, as much as I want her._ She stands with me and I wrap my arm around her to protect her from the wind whipping around the open train car. I lift my arm and point out the cluster of buildings that make up the Erudite compound

"Apparently the city ordinances don't mean anything to them, because their lights will be on all night." I say looking at out the lights in the distance.

"No one else has noticed?" She says, frowning.

"I'm sure they have, but they haven't done anything to stop it. It may be because they don't want to cause a problem over something so small." I shrug. "But it made me wonder what the Erudite are doing that requires night light."

I turn towards her, leaning against the wall.

"Two things you should know about me. The first is that I am deeply suspicious of people in general," I say. "It is my nature to expect the worst of them. And the second is that I am unexpectedly good with computers."

She nods. Looking at me curiously, like she is trying to picture me sitting in the control room in her mind. I look back down at her, watching her eyes as they study me. _Her eyes_. Sometimes I think they see straight into my sole.

"A few weeks ago, before training started, I was at work and I found a way into the Dauntless secure files. Apparently we are not as skilled as the Erudite are at security, and what I discovered was what looked like war plans." I say, watching her reaction closely to see if she is following what I am telling her. "Thinly veiled commands, supply lists, maps. Things like that. And those files were sent by Erudite."

She looks shocked and then her expression changes like she is thinking about something. _What does she know? Did her brother say something or her mother that day? _

"War?" she says, brushing her hair away from her face. "War on Abnegation?"

I take her hand, lacing her fingers with mine, and say, "The faction that controls the government. Yes."

I watch as my words sink into her, curiosity being replaced with fear at my confirmation of her thoughts. I lean closer to her brushing another stray hair from her face as the wind from the moving train whips around us. I want to tell her not to worry. Promise her I will keep her safe no matter the cost. But, it is a promise I know I have no way of keeping, especially if we are on the verge of war. I turn my thoughts back to the matter at hand.

"All those reports are supposed to stir up dissension against Abnegation," I say, my eyes focused on the city beyond the train car. "Evidently the Erudite now want to speed up the process. I have no idea what to do about it…or what could even be done."

"But," she says, "why would Erudite team up with Dauntless?"

She looks as though she is trying to figure it all out in her mind and then the realization spreads over her. She stares up wide eyed up at me. Before I have a chance to speak, she echoes my thoughts with her words.

"They're going to use us," she says, her voice quiet. I want to comfort her, but right now I need her to help me make sense of it all. I need the Erudite part of her to complete the puzzle I have tried to solve for months now.

"I wonder," I say, "how they plan to get us to fight.."

The wind picks up as the train curves back around taking us back in the direction of the Dauntless compound. Her hair billows across her face, veiling my view of her. She doesn't try to move it, lost in her thoughts. I don't attempt to either, for fear I will break her concentration.

"I don't know," she finally says, biting her lip and crossing her arms across her chest.

I reach forward, pulling her against my chest, no longer able to watch the tension and worry so clear in her stance. She stays tense against me and I rub her back trying to fight off the fear. I press my lips to her hair and she moves her hands up around my neck. I look down at her and she stares back up at me.

"What are we going to do, Tobias?" She whispers

I close my eyes, pressing her forehead to mine, "I don't know."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

I woke up early the morning of fear landscapes. I had not had a very restful night. I didn't go back to the control room, but I did wake up often, worried about Tris and about what I had told her. I went to the training room to workout with the bags, making sure to peek in the dorms on my way there. I could see her sleeping peacefully and all I wanted to do was have her wrapped in my arms again.

On my way back from the training room I went to the cafeteria for breakfast, the compound was already turning into a mess of drunk and chaotic Dauntless. I thought about how different today would be for her and me, if we had chosen grey instead of black. Today would have been a day of peace and solitude, with washing of feet and joining of hands. _Would we have met had I stayed? Or would Marcus have made me into a shell of the man that stands before her today?_ I stop my thoughts at Marcus, not wanting to go down that road. _Today is about her, not me. I need to focus on her._

I scan the room looking for her, but I don't see her. I am so focused on finding her that I don't notice when the others sit down next to me.

"Four, earth to Four." Zeke says as he snaps his fingers in front of my face. He is grinning. Lauren and Shauna laugh slightly, shaking their heads at me.

"Dude, you have it bad." Lauren says.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." I say, trying to sound bored.

"So I take it that she forgave you for calling her pathetic the other day?" Shauna says. I glare at Lauren and she makes a face and shrugs to say she doesn't know what Shauna is talking about.

"Thanks Lauren." I say, still glaring at her.

"Calm down, man. We all want to see you happy and the Stiff makes you happy. Stiff love, so cute." Zeke says.

I get up, taking a muffin with me. I have better things to do than listen to them give me hell. I walk back through the Pit still looking for her. I am headed towards the hallway to my apartment to take a shower, when Eric stops me.

"Hey Four, you need to come a few minutes early to the landscape room. Every member of Dauntless is to be injected with a tracker per Max's orders. You didn't get yours yesterday thanks to your initiate's little stunt. Be there five minutes early." he says. He starts to walk away from me and then he stops. "Did she really try to kiss you?" he laughs. I shrug my shoulders and turn to keep walking. I hear him say pathetic under his voice as he walks away laughing. _Good, at least we convinced him._

I get to my apartment and head to the shower, letting the warm water run down me, hoping it will wash away my anxiety about today. My mind turns to Tris, as it always does in the quiet when I am alone. _She will make it through today. She has to. She is strong. Then we can be together and I won't have to worry, because she will be safe in my arms, free from danger and attack._ I get out of the shower, happy and confident in my thoughts of her.

**Page Break**

I enter the landscape room five minutes early, as instructed. I still haven't found Tris. I can see some of the initiates are already there waiting for their turn in the dreaded room. I don't linger too long on my thoughts of who will make it and who won't Stage two had let me see most of their fears, and I am fairly confident in my predictions of who will be factionless by the end of today. If Tris can keep it together today, she will be well in the top five. Hell, she might even be first. But, being first worries me, as it might give away too much of her divergence. Again, I press the worry from my mind, not wanting it to show as I approach Max and the others.

"Ah, Four, just the man we were discussing." Max says, shaking my hand and putting his other on my shoulder. He leads me over to where the group of observers is sitting. "I heard that you had an interesting time with one of the transfers yesterday. I am not surprised, you are a handsome man after all."

"Thank you, Max." I smile. "I heard that I need to be injected with some sort of tracker?"

"Nothing to worry about. Just a new policy. As you know some of our members have gone missing while on business away from the compound. Just a safety precaution, so that we can locate you, if we need to." Max says casually.

I don't trust him, but I can't question him anymore, it would raise suspicion. As I told Christina the first day, the first rule of Dauntless is to keep your mouth shut and follow orders like a good soldier, so that is what I do.

Eric comes up behind me and without warning I feel the needle in my neck. Then the burn of what I know to be a serum flooding through my veins. _But why would it feel like a serum? New technology from Erudite, no doubt._ I crick my neck to the side trying to ease the burn, and then take my place in the control room.

The first initiate comes in the room and Eric goes into inject him. I turn my attention back to the computer. I can't see what is happening today. My job is just to monitor their heart rate and breathing, basically make sure no one dies during their landscape. It is fine with me. I don't really like watching them face their fears, like everyone else. The observers are the only ones that will be able to go through the actual fears with them today. The screens in the compound only show their reactions to their fears. I guess it would be too Candor to allow the whole compound to view everyones' fears and for that I am grateful. Fears are a personal thing, intimate really. A person's fears are a reflection of a hidden part of their soul. No one should have to bare their soul without their consent. It would be like stripping naked in front of your entire faction without choice.

As I monitor the fear landscapes, my thoughts drift to Tris, again. We should be getting close to her turn. She will go last, because she is ranked first. I hope she realizes everyone in the entire compound will be watching her. The first ranked initiate is always of the most interest. People may even be betting on her and Uriah. Hopefully, most of them will be too drunk to really pay attention.

I swivel in my chair, half watching the Dauntless born as they go through, half watching the waiting initiates hoping to see Tris. Just as I swivel back to look at the initiates again, I see her, following Will and Christina through the crowd. She looks happy and ready for today's events. I can't help to admire how beautiful and strong she looks, still bird like. A perfect disguise for the ferocity contained within.

"Hey, Tris!" Uriah calls out from across the room. He sits with the other Dauntless-born initiates. Only four of them are left; the rest have gone through their fear landscapes already. He pats his leg and I feel my fist clench at my side. "You can sit on my lap, if you want."

"Tempting," she calls back, grinning. "It's fine. I like to stand."

I release a breath I hadn't realize I was holding with her answer and grin to myself, swiveling again to face the screens. Soon enough, it is Uriah's turn and I turn to face the screens, not wanting to see his reactions to his fears. He goes through his fears quickly. He is divergent, after all. When the final fear is finished, I see the indication light on the screen telling me he is through. I turn again and see Max and the others go out to congratulate him and I head that way also. When I enter the room, I see Eric inject him with the same serum he injected me with, telling Uriah it is a tracker. Uriah just grins at him and then comes and gives my a quick hug, before running off to find the others to celebrate, no doubt. _He will be drunk before tris has even gone._

As soon as he is clear of the room, I walk back out to address the transfers. "Transfers, the order in which you go through the final test was taken from your rankings as they now stand," I say, lingering a little too long on her face. "So Drew will go first, and Tris will go last."

I head back into the room to start monitoring the landscapes once more. Tris stands at the back of the room, a few feet from me. We exchange glances as Eric injects Drew. I want to grab her hand and hold it in mine. _You are strong. You will be fine._ I try to tell her as I look at her. It takes everything I have not to go out and whisper those things in her ear. I want to hold her, comfort her, but I know I can't and that is what kills me. She watches Drew for a moment and then closes her eyes. Willing herself not to watch the reactions of the others. _Smart, and very Abnegation. She is unwilling to watch their pain because she knows she will take it as her own._

Soon enough, it is her turn in the room. I watch as she goes into the room. Eric waits for her and injects her with the serum. _Be brave, Tris._ Then my screen lights up as her fears consume her.

I don't watch. I can't watch. It takes all my strength to stay focused on the screen. I want to be there for her, help her through her fears, just as she helped me through mine. I watch her heart rate start to pick up on the monitor and then, before it really even has time to register, she is moving on to her next fear. I am amazed at the speed she works through them. It really is something to admire. Beautiful and terrifying. She is able to truly wake up in the face of fear, almost as if her mind processes better with the surge of adrenaline to her system. I force myself to focus on the screen not wanting to see her face.

One fear, then two, then three are down. I expect her to be in the sim much longer than she is. I am amazed when she passes her fourth and fifth. Then something happens. Her heart rate immediately jumps at her sixth fear. I turn and see that the observers are laughing. _Why would they be laughing?_ Then she acts as if she is pushing someone away from her. I turn back to the screen and shrug it off. _Maybe she is afraid of moths or something equally as stupid, like Christina. Who knows why they are amused._ Then the simulation moves on and she is facing her seventh fear.

I watch as her heart rate speeds up and her breathing matches pace. _Oh no, she is panicking._ She can't panic not now. She won't be able to face the others. Then I turn and watch her body slump to the floor, lifeless. I turn back to the screens in a panic, but see that her heart rate is steady once more. The lights in the landscape room come one again. _Seven fears? She only has seven fears._

She pulls herself into a ball, rocking for a moment to calm herself, as Eric and Max leave their seats. Before they get to her, she is standing once more. I follow behind, as everyone leaves the room. I stand behind Eric and Max, listening as Eric injects her with the tracker. I allow them to walk ahead of me, pausing by the door, beckoning her to follow me. She does and I wait in the Pire for her. She walks up to me and I can't help but smile at her. _She is brave, she is Dauntless, and she is mine._

"I heard a rumor that you only had seven obstacles to face," I say. "Practically unheard of."

"You…you weren't watching the simulation?" she says. For a moment she looks nervous, but it passes quickly, so I write it off as lingering nerves.

"Only on the screens. The Dauntless leaders are the only ones who see the whole thing," I say. "They seemed impressed."

"Well, seven fears isn't as impressive as four," she replies, a small smirk on her face, "but it will suffice."

"I would be surprised if you weren't ranked first," I say. I know she will be ranked first. I was monitoring the times, but I want her to have her moment. So, I don't tell her. I just watch her blush and shake her head at me.

As we walk through the Pire, people can't help but notice Tris. She receives several claps on the shoulder and congratulations as we walk through the crowded compound. She looks around at the people of her faction and it is as if she is truly seeing them for the first time. I remember being her. How strange it still seemed to have people's attention on me. Her Abnegation is showing, but I don't want to tell her. She is too damn, cute. All I really want to do in this moment is grab her and pull her to me. Claim her as mine. But, I still have to wait until it is official, before I can let everyone know that the stiff, the first jumper, the girl with seven fears is mine.

As we leave the Pire and head into the compound she bites her lip and looks up at me.

"How much did they tell you about my fear landscape?" she asks.

"Nothing really. Why?" I say.

"No reason." she says, as she kicks a pebble in the path. She is hiding something, but I don't know what. _Was I in her landsape? Is she afraid of me, of what I might become?_ Once again, I push these thoughts from my mind and continue.

"Do you have to go back to the dormitory? Because if you want peace and quiet, you can stay with me until the banquet." I tell her.

She pauses as if she is considering it and momentarily she seems afraid.

"What is it?" I ask, trying to hide the worry in my voice.

"Let's go." she says.

_I must have imagined it._ I look around and take her hand, lacing her fingers in mine. She makes me stronger. She makes me whole. I need her strength. I need her love. It is all I have ever wanted and now that I have found it, I will never let her go.


End file.
